The Kylie Jenner Promotional Program Seems Relatively Simple

Wake up. Arrange your tits into some semblance of barely covered. Ask your driver where he's taking you that evening. Or don't. We all had relatively uncomplicated jobs at nineteen. When Kylie Jenner gets older they'll trust her with more complicated roles such as voicing... read more

Christina Aguilera Making Moves

Christina Aguilera apparently got drunk and horny and went on Instagram and took a fairly tame topless selfie, or just decided to get into this game super late and boring. Aguilera's selfie or possibly a screenshot lifted from Eyes Wide Shut shows her topless and... read more

Even More On Christina Aguilera Calling Mickey Mouse An Asshole

Christina Aguilera reportedly went to Disneyland with her friends to celebrate her birthday and fittingly threw a tantrum because these are all things adults shouldn't do. Aguilera apparently wanted to take a photo with Mickey Mouse, but the convicted child porn... read more

Xtina Tells Mickey Mouse To Fuck Off And Shit Around The Web

Christina Aguilera melted down while on a visit to Disneyworld when a Mickey Mouse going on break refused to take pictures with her. She had a few unsavory words for Mickey. I mean, call him a high-pitched anal fister, but don't tell him "fuck you". That's rude. Read all... read more

Christina Aguilera Wants To Do Playboy

Christina Aguilera wants to pose naked in Playboy after she gives birth to her second child by whomever she's banging these days. That sentence is akin to saying she wants to go drag racing after slamming down a power hour. Just because you want to do something doesn't... read more

Christina Aguilera Naked Pregnant Mom Boobs

Whenever people talk about Christina Aguilera, they always say she's reinventing herself. I think that means she's losing weight again after packing on a few. Or she's decided to try sobriety in the noon hour. In this case, Christina's reinventing herself once more by... read more

Lady Gaga Distancing Herself from R. Kelly

Maybe it wasn't the best idea for a woman to launch a bawdy sexualized song with a known defiler of underaged girls. Lady Gaga probably didn't give a shit until her new album tanked in sales simultaneous to the uproar over R. Kelly's pissing on pubescent girls came back... read more

Christina Aguilera's New Song Is About How Great She Looks (VIDEO)

I'm not really into Christina Aguilera's music, so when I started watching her new video for the song, "Let There Be Love," I muted it. I also don't really care about inspirational messages or making the world a better place, so every time that someone held up a sign or... read more

Christina Aguilera Got Smaller Through Moderation

Christina Aguilera figured out that she doesn't need to get drunk every night, just every other night, and the results are showing. Shed some pounds. Find clarity. Rediscover your true strengths. Like your tits. Yep, still there even when only moderately soused. Here's... read more

Christina Aguilera Rolls Out the Big Guns

Christina Aguilera has a new music video out. It's a Spanish ballad. I'm not going to listen to it because I'll probably end up crying thinking about the caballero that got away. But I'll be damned if I'm not going to look at how they managed to make her look like a... read more

The TIME 100 -- 100 What?

If you found out there was a list going around that included names the likes of Lena Dunham, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, and Ariana Huffington, you'd think what I'm thinking -- this is a list of people in the world I'd least like to fuck. And you would be right. But... read more