I Expected More from Dakota Fanning's Ass

I'm emotionally incapable of experiencing feelings of disappointment. It's really just a matter of calibrating your happiness expectations to that of meth addicted stripper working the Reno-Sparks corridor. But as somebody who's watched every Dakota Fanning movie ever... read more

Dakota Fanning Three Steps Closer to Invisible

Dakota Fanning is cute as a button, but just wait until she's lost all melanin in her skin and she goes completely invisible. She's going to fuck shit up. All those casting directors who touched her as a child? Dead. Mike Myers for ruining The Cat in the Hat? Killed in... read more

dakota fanning is a queen

Dakota Fanning really is a cheerleader at Campbell Hall Episcopal High School in North Hollywood, and this weekend she was named a member of the Homecoming Court and then Homecoming Queen during a football game. If this whole thing seems adorably yet suspiciously normal,... read more

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which one is dakota fanning?

I hate when pictures aren’t labeled, because Dakota Fanning was allegedly at the NAACP Image Awards last night, but I can't spot her. Where is she? Which one is Dakota?!?!?!(image source = getty images)[gallery id="10122"] read more

"DAKOTA" MEANS...

Jocelyn, who I hear used to bang Colin Farrell, wrote me an email to explain what the name "Dakota" means in the South Pacific. Hint: it would be awesome if Dakota Fanning went there with a name tag on."Dakota" means "Let's fuck" in a Melanesian dialect in the island... read more

DAKOTA GOT SPIRIT, YES SHE DO

These pictures of Dakota Fanning (who is just 14, so put it away) aren’t from some movie. She really is a cheerleader for her high school in LA. I guess she's perfect because she's little and cheerleaders need someone little to throw into the air. And someone thick to... read more

STUFF FROM ALL OVER

TOM CRUISE IS SEXY - I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging, but I’m fuckin hot, so I know sexy when I see it, and Tom Cruise is sexier than ever. He could totally be a plus-sized model. (more pictures over on Splash)EVERYONE HATES PARIS HILTON - Page Six says that... read more

DENZEL BETTER BE JOKING

The New York Daily News stopped Denzel Washington last night on the red carpet for the premier of his new movie "Déjà Vu", and he gave the expected answer when asked what he was working on next:"I'm working on eating some turkey, going home, putting my feet up, watching... read more