Dakota Johnson Topless Filming 'Fifty Shades Darker'

Sex with the same partner over and over again is pretty fucking boring. That's why no man conducted himself thusly for the first 99.9% of human history. Monogamy cries out to invent shit like leather straps and ball gags in the place of just finding new and more interesting people to fuck normally.

read more
Fifty Shades Turns Ninety Million

I don't ask a lot from my sex movies. I do politely request that the chicks have bigger tits than the dudes, but I'm not a child who believes all pornography was shot just for him. It's about Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson's boyish daughter learning that a woman's pleasure is derived from being helpless and submissive to a male model with amazing abs. Plenty of feminists are up in arms since their pleasure is...read more

Dakota Johnson in a Bikini

The entire reason for attractive people to get married is to make good looking daughters. All those fights and cheating and acrimonious divorces and hate-filled boozed up evenings are the small sacrifice for making hot girls with minimal wisdom points. Every reasonably equipped male knows those girls are the prize of the herd. Wow, your parents sound so selfish, you want to make out in my van? Photo Credit: AKM-GSI...

read more
Fifty Shades of Grey Is Almost Wrapped

Even though the film about ass spanking couldn't find an actress with an ass, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about Fifty Shades of Grey. Twenty million suburban housewives simultaneously flicking their beans can't possibly be wrong. Remember when those same ladies started becoming moist over Boston Market? Next thing you know that mediocre meatloaf was available with two sides on every corner of this great land. These...

read more
Dakota Johnson Films 'Fifty Shades of Grey' In Vancouver

Photo Credit: FameFlynet [gallery ids="1674412,1674422,1674432,1674442,1674452,1674462,1674472"]

read more
Dakota Johnson To Star In 50 Shades Of Grey

I tried getting my lady to submit to my dominance one time. For my efforts I received a fist punch to the sac and having to listen to her giggle to her girlfriend on the phone about how stupid my cape looked. Part of the equation is definitely being just one good looking kind of man. Then women will let you get away with all kinds of shit. Like believing you when you say they're the only girl you're seeing. Or letting...

read more