Elisabetta Canalis Date For Hire

This old Austrian billionaire might just be my hero. He just married that German blowup doll one-quarter his age to be his regular pecker wetter, but he's still doling out the 500K paychecks to get celebrity chicks in low cut dresses to be his date to the big opera events. I don't think he gets to old man pudge bang George Clooney's ex-girlfriend, but a few gropes and titty touches are probably in the contract. It's...

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Elisabetta Canalis Shows Off In A Bikini Before Her Wedding In Italy

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash [gallery ids="1759131,1759137,1759136,1759138,1759134,1759133,1759135,1759132"]

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Elisabetta Canalis in A White Bikini

I can't help but feel George Clooney missed out on this one. I know models like to talk about scarves and plot revenge against the bitch that stole their mascara and stare at dots on the walls for hours wondering if they're bugs. But that's a good, simple companion. Like a cocker-spaniel that has great tits and loves sex in months when they're eating. I understand the twisted arrogant mind of George Clooney thinking...

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Elisabetta Canalis Topless On A Boat

I often mock Europe. I just did. Fuck them and their green pants. But they do have this topless sunbathing thing down. Not the public beaches where the large German ladies roll about like beached manatees smoking unfiltered Camels. All the hot women are on the boats taking off their tops. You want to see George Clooney's ex-girlfriends tits. Blammo! Big ups, Europe. Today you did not suck. Photo Credit: Pacific Coast...read more

Elisabetta Canalis In Lingerie

Look at this, George Clooney. This was your girlfriend a couple or three model girlfriends ago. Look at her, dammit. I don't care about your fancy I Heart U Obama parties or how Brad Pitt comes to your sleepovers or when you grab some basketball players and blather about the Sudan, like that's a real place. What I do care about is you voluntarily giving up the gift God gave you to bone the shit out of hot women with...

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Elisabetta Canalis Models Lormar Lingerie

Photo Credit: Lormar [gallery id="5179"]

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Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

This is the second girl today that George Clooney has nailed that we get to see in a bikini. Which should only serve to remind you that checking out a hot model in a bikini is a sad sorry second place to having sex with a hot model. Lots of inspirational type folks would tell you to get off your ass, get off the computer, and go get some for yourself. I'd tell you to stay on your computer and figure out how to catfish...

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Elisabetta Canalis Shows Us Her Good Side

I always thought it would be pretty hard to forget the fact that model Elisabetta Canalis followed up her relationship with George Clooney by dating Steve-o (twice), because that's not a step down. That's walking out the front door and stepping off the Grand Canyon. But then, I just forgot all about it, because I'm way more focused on this picture of her ass that she posted to her Instagram account on Monday. Hell, I...

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Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

If anyone ever doubted that a man's first choice in ladies is always whoever's next, you need only look at Elisabetta Canalis. Or I guess now Stacy Keibler, who was next after Elisabetta before Stacy got 'nexted' herself by Clooney. Keibler said something along the lines of she and Clooney still remaining friends. Which is great, so now you can run to the store for him and fetch a pack of condoms when he finds himself...

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Sacha Baron Cohen murdered Elisabetta Canalis on a yacht in Cannes today

What started out as an erotic afternoon of ass rubbing between Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis ended in tragedy today after Cohen showed his penis to Canalis. The Italian supermodel began to laugh and seemed to think it was small, despite his reassurances that his penis is actually quite enormous. Tensions escalated when she attempted to take a picture of his penis, causing a fight to break out, which led to...

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Elisabetta Canalis really is dating Steve O

Apparently yesterdays rumor is true and Italian supermodel Elisabetta Canalis has gone from dating George Clooney (a two-time winner of People magazines 'Sexiest Man Alive') to Steve O (who was covered in shit in 'Jackass 3') in a span of about 6 months. Even Ryan Dunn didn't crash this hard. (image source = fame/flynet) [gallery...

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Elisabetta Canalis has downgraded just slightly

"Going from George Clooney to Steve-O," sounds like an analogy that's supposed to be funny, as if to describe a girl who's dating life has gone to hell. And with good reason, because one is a handsome billionaire actor, and the other staples his balls to things. But I bet Elisabetta Canalis wouldn't find it funny, because she reportedly has gone from dating George Clooney to Steve-O. In real life. There's no...

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its Elisabetta Canalis for PETA

George Clooneys ex Elisabetta Canalis did some promotion for PETA in Milan today, unveiling her new ad that says, "meglio nuda che in pelliccia." Are there any models out there who will pose for an ad that says, " PETA put down 94 percent of the dogs and cats placed in their care last year, finding homes for just 44 of the 2,345 that they took in, and have killed 25,840 dogs, cats, puppies, and kittens since 1998"? Or...

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Elisabte Canalis makes gas stations sexy

Even though the picture agency felt compelled to stamp their name all over the pictures for some reason, Elisabetta Canalis still looked great as she stopped at a gas station in Hollywood after leaving rehearsal for 'Dancing With The Stars'. The good news is she was out there the whole time and gave everyone a good show. The bad news is how am I supposed to hide in the backseat if she never goes in the little store. ...

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DWTS will be sexy and/or uncomfortable

Elisabetta Canalis and Chastity Chaz Bono finished up rehearsals for Dancing With The Stars yesterday, and Holy Crap. I know Chaz isn't technically a girl anymore, but that point is made extra clear when being near Elisabetta. Actually it's hard to believe these two are even from the same planet. (image source = inf) [gallery...

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