Elisabetta Canalis Date For Hire

This old Austrian billionaire might just be my hero. He just married that German blowup doll one-quarter his age to be his regular pecker wetter, but he's still doling out the 500K paychecks to get celebrity chicks in low cut dresses to be his date to the big opera... read more

Elisabetta Canalis Shows Off In A Bikini Before Her Wedding In Italy

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash [gallery ids="1759131,1759137,1759136,1759138,1759134,1759133,1759135,1759132"] read more

Elisabetta Canalis in A White Bikini

I can't help but feel George Clooney missed out on this one. I know models like to talk about scarves and plot revenge against the bitch that stole their mascara and stare at dots on the walls for hours wondering if they're bugs. But that's a good, simple companion. Like... read more

Elisabetta Canalis Topless On A Boat

I often mock Europe. I just did. Fuck them and their green pants. But they do have this topless sunbathing thing down. Not the public beaches where the large German ladies roll about like beached manatees smoking unfiltered Camels. All the hot women are on the boats... read more

Elisabetta Canalis In Lingerie

Look at this, George Clooney. This was your girlfriend a couple or three model girlfriends ago. Look at her, dammit. I don't care about your fancy I Heart U Obama parties or how Brad Pitt comes to your sleepovers or when you grab some basketball players and blather about... read more

Elisabetta Canalis Models Lormar Lingerie

Photo Credit: Lormar [gallery id="5179"] read more

Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

This is the second girl today that George Clooney has nailed that we get to see in a bikini. Which should only serve to remind you that checking out a hot model in a bikini is a sad sorry second place to having sex with a hot model. Lots of inspirational type folks would... read more

Elisabetta Canalis Shows Us Her Good Side

I always thought it would be pretty hard to forget the fact that model Elisabetta Canalis followed up her relationship with George Clooney by dating Steve-o (twice), because that's not a step down. That's walking out the front door and stepping off the Grand Canyon. But... read more

Elisabetta Canalis In A Bikini

If anyone ever doubted that a man's first choice in ladies is always whoever's next, you need only look at Elisabetta Canalis. Or I guess now Stacy Keibler, who was next after Elisabetta before Stacy got 'nexted' herself by Clooney. Keibler said something along the lines... read more

Sacha Baron Cohen murdered Elisabetta Canalis on a yacht in Cannes today

What started out as an erotic afternoon of ass rubbing between Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis ended in tragedy today after Cohen showed his penis to Canalis. The Italian supermodel began to laugh and seemed to think it was small, despite his reassurances that... read more

Elisabetta Canalis really is dating Steve O

Apparently yesterdays rumor is true and Italian supermodel Elisabetta Canalis has gone from dating George Clooney (a two-time winner of People magazines 'Sexiest Man Alive') to Steve O (who was covered in shit in 'Jackass 3') in a span of about 6 months. Even Ryan Dunn... read more

Elisabetta Canalis has downgraded just slightly

"Going from George Clooney to Steve-O," sounds like an analogy that's supposed to be funny, as if to describe a girl who's dating life has gone to hell. And with good reason, because one is a handsome billionaire actor, and the other staples his balls to things. But I... read more