Mandalay Bay Security Guard Breaking Silence Only for 'Ellen' (VIDEO)

In a rather obvious bit of legal risk management, MGM Grand, the owners of the Mandalay Bay in Vegas, shoved out their wounded security guard and building maintenance guy onto the Ellen show to provide a media interview of record regarding the incidents during the night... read more

Miley Cyrus, Millennial Guide

If you turn the lights out and say the word millennial three times in the mirror Miley Cyrus will appear behind you to take a "selfie for the gram." read more

Two Decades of Gay Ellen

It's been twenty years since Ellen DeGeneres made a public pronouncement about being a lesbian. She did so within an episode of her mildly amusing eponymous TV show.  read more

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Jennifer Aniston Vaguely Champions Something That Might Be Women's Rights

Jennifer Aniston went on Ellen to remind everybody that she has yet another shitty looking movie coming out for Christmas. It's a low ball comedy with lots of groin jokes. She's being paid millions. She also spent most of the interview playing Never Have I Ever about... read more

Ellen DeGeneres Tied in PC Knots

In a world of universal oppression, even the righteous among us will be wiped with the broad brush of patriarchy, bigotry, and hate speech. Ellen DeGeneres hasn't uttered an offensive word in fifteen years of banal afternoon television. She donates to the right charities,... read more

Kris Jenner Struggles

There can't be anything more tortured than Kris Jenner talking to Ellen about Bruce Jenner turning into Caitlyn Jenner and dating men. Bruce Jenner has gone to more extreme lengths to cover up the fact that he loved the man cock than any other male born on this planet.... read more

Ellen Brings Down the Hammer

Dolce & Gabbana took another hit from the gay community when Ellen lambasted the unambiguously gay duo for making comments in an Italian magazine about in-vitro fertilization being as awful as pairing beige slacks with a taupe sweater. In a quirk of expectations, the... read more

Kelly Brook Needs a Better Show

Ellen's produced sitcom about a super hot blond lesbian chick making a baby with her supportive straight guy friend isn't doing well with critics outside of those in Hollywood who fear for their working lives. You talk shit about Ellen in the Thirty Mile Zone, you might... read more

Ellen's Comedy Gold Fucks with the NYPD (VIDEO)

Here's a pop quiz. Is now a good time to be fucking with the the NYPD? Your answer really depends on how much you look forward to peering down on the protest march in your honor from heaven. Alexander Bok is a dude whose shtick is creeping up behind people and dancing... read more

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Portia de Rossi Loves to Skywrite

Portia de Rossi's go to gifts for Ellen are either skywriting messages or that special thing she does with her tongue and ring finger that drives her old lady wild. She can do both while pretty deeply intoxicated. Amid rumors of a marriage reminiscent of Ike and Tina... read more

Portia De Rossi Faded On Ellen Vag

Ellen's vagina is the psychoactive toad of lesbian Hollywood. It made Anne Heche crazy, well, more crazy. Portia de Rossi is now experiencing the long term effects of having her face directed between her older wife's pant-suited thighs and told to help mama relax. Portia... read more

Mila Kunis Won't Reveal Anything About The Douchebaby (VIDEO)

Mila Kunis knows the gender of the baby that she's currently expecting with Ashton Kutcher, and she also has a name picked out, but she won't reveal any of those details because it's none of our business or something. After all, her whole relationship with Ashton had... read more