Gisele Bundchen Still Earning

If you ever had a hint of being rich, sell women's clothing. It's the biggest legal market out there not involving digging deep into the earth's mantle. Unless you've got a big fucking shovel, sell pants to chicks.

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Gisele Bundchen Topless for $700

The line starts behind me for Gisele Bundchen's 20th anniversary photo memoirs. The Brazilian model retired from runway modeling earlier this year though continues to pose for pay for magazines, advertisements, and that earnest sounding guy on Craigslist who can only meet you at the industrial park late in the evening. Simply titled, Gisele, the spank book will set you back seven hundred dollars, which is...read more

Gisele Bundchen Recovers From Tit Job

Gisele Bundchen wore a burqa to disguise herself while getting new tits in Paris, which was a dead giveaway because her exposed ankles said Brazilian whore all the way. She also got her eyes done and most likely mused on having Nazi parents with the surgeon played byCristoph Waltz. Warner Herzog is doing the documentary and most likely jerking off to the needle disposal box. Gisele seems to fancy herself as a sprouts...

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Gisele Bundchen Finds Solace

Following her husband smashing his cellphone with a sledgehammer and then smirking about it while playing the victim, Gisele pretended to do yoga with her "Soul sister" on Instagram. The problem with fulling lesbianingout is you have to be buzzed and only half the party really really wants to. As you can see inthe super hot black chick'seyes and exposed vagina. Nice diversity, put it in your portfolio next to your...

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Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady Vacation Like You and Me

Gisele and Tom Brady own a solid chunk of Coastal Central America now. They orange oiled out all the annoying monkeys so their childcare staff would be safe from rabies. They might also be re-animating fossilized dinosaur bones. You can do stupid shit when you're filthy rich and you have six months off each year. Gisele announced she's retiring from runway work after next month's Fashion Week in Brazil. Tom will be...

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Gisele Bundchen Grateful

Gisele Bundchen posted a photo of herself looking svelte with the words "Grateful" written in the sand by a professional. This is thought to be in reference to her impending retirement from modeling. Bundchen will celebrate withan extra rice cake and a toast of Fen Phen laced sparking cider. Modeling requires walking and not eating, things which most people do part of every day. Such a specific skill set all but...

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Gisele Bundchen Is Discreet

Gisele earned $47 million last year according to Forbes and is annoyed they wrote an article about it. She attempted to vaguely minimize the details of the story: "It's sad, because the people who write these things don't have my bank account details." What's in your bank account is kind of irrelevant. Perhaps you're down a bit on the balance sheet after paying $50 million in cash for the new home. Bundchen is...

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Gisele Bundchen Naked and Powerful

Gisele Bundchen made Forbes list of the world's most powerful women. I'm not sure what the voting criteria is, but it's safe to say this is a list that means you're the premium blend. You're riding in the same VIP car with Hilary Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres, and Oprah. If Michelle Obama and her secret service weren't also riding along, you'd probably be lez-raped, so maybe a thank you to the First Lady is in order....

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Gisele Bundchen Models Bikinis For 2014 H&M

Photo Credit: H&M [gallery id="3969"]

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Gisele Bundchen Flashes Underboob In Issue 1 Of Porter Magazine

Photo Credit: Porter [gallery id="4316"]

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Holly Madison Thinks Gisele is So Brave

You probably forgot that Holly Madison had a baby earlier this year, because it wasn't even in the Top 100 celebrity child births in 2013, but she did and now she knows just what Gisele Bündchen is going through when it comes to finding the time and right place to breast feed. Holly came to Gisele's defense after the supermodel received mild criticism over a picture of her breastfeeding, as she told the Daily Mail,...

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Gisele Bündchen Feeds a Child From Her Teat Then Models Lingerie

Holy crap, Gisele really does do it all. She maps out post patterns for Danny Amendola so he's not lost like that stupid Wes Welker. She runs a lingerie business selling lingerie that only she can wear. And she takes in random street children to give them breast milk while gay men play with her hair. Officially, I believe it's called tousling. If you're not thinking about picking this lady up the next time she comes...

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Gisele Bundchen Poses In Lingerie For The December Issue Of Vogue Brazil

Photo Credit: Vogue Brazil [gallery id="4717"]

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Tom Brady's Old Bodyguards Are Going To Prison

Back in 2009, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen were married in Costa Rica, where they tried to enjoy a nice, private wedding ceremony with their friends and family like all extremely wealthy couples ultimately desire. What they didn't want was a bunch of dickhead paparazzi climbing the fences and trying to sneak pictures of the ceremony and reception, so they had their then-bodyguards, Miguel Solis and Alexander Rivas,...

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Gisele Bündchen Is Such An Innovator

Supermodel Gisele Bündchen attended the Wall Street Journal's Innovator of the Year Awards in Manhattan last night, as she, along with the two guys from Daft Punk, graced the cover of this month's WSJ magazine that celebrates some people who make serious faces for their contributions to various genres. It's really hard to believe that Gisele is only 33-years old, because she's already done so much with her career as...

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