Goldie Hawn Sensational If Not Crusty

Nobody looks great mostly naked at seventy. Rich men can still get laid at advanced ages by sheer artifice, but nature didn't intend old people to be sexually desirable. Lemon parties being the prime example of denying nature's structured tapestry. People magazine declared Goldie Hawn to be looking sensational in Hawaii. There's not a single honest sentence in People. But middle aged women need porn too.read more

Bill Hudson Still Finding His Dad Rhythm

Oliver Hudson mocked his absentee bio-dad on Father's Day by calling it Happy Abandonment Day and posting a kid picture of himself and his sister Kate Hudson and Bill Hudson who fucked Goldie Hawn at a party in 1976 and had to marry her. Their marriage lasted one more kid plus a couple months before Hudson took off for better eats down the street. Papa was a rolling stone. Following his 38-year son's Instagram...

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Kate Hudson And Goldie Hawn in Bikinis

Goldie Hawn seems constantly in motion. It may have something to do with what happens to her skin during standstill. She may slurry back into her periodic table elements. Hawn seems like a good mom who doesn't judge her daughter for showing up with a different musician and a different baby every year on the family holiday. Actually maybe that's a bad mom. You could drop a little hint like if you want to fuck lots of...read more

Goldie, Kate and Donatella Ready to Wear

It's a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I'll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on accredited university degrees for the dude who slices her up on the regular. Her daughter only needs a couple toxin needles here and there. But that Corpse Bride really got the shaft. You have to...

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Goldie Hawn Still Knows How To Party

If 81-year old Kim Novak hadn't shown up to the Academy Awards as a presenter, looking like a villain from Joel Schumacher's horrible Batman films and struggling to get through the script on the teleprompter, more people would probably be talking about Goldie Hawn's appearance. Or maybe not, because the 68-year old has a tendency to show up to almost everything looking like she just got out of bed and fell down a...

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Is that ... oh no

I don't know when this page turned into some geriatric lust fetish site, but last week it was Helen Mirrens breasts, yesterday it was Kelly Ripa and her three kids(*), today it's Goldie Hawn slipping out of her dress. It's not as bad as you might think, but look here you daffy bitch, you're not 20 anymore, you're not even 60 anymore, put a GD bra on. I think a good general rule would be that anyone born while WWII was...

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