Photoshopped Bikini Gwyneth Paltrow Admits She Used to Be an Asshole

Gwyneth Paltrow conducted an interview and obviously manufactured bikini photoshoot with Samantha Bee for Harper's Bazaar where Paltrow comes clean on everything that means nothing and run through a perfection blender available for sale on Goop. read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Breasts Are Even Nicer Than She Is

Despising Gwyneth Paltrow makes it easy to forget how much her close friends adore her. They cite countless times she ordered them the perfect gift basket when loved ones passed. read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Ditching Goop

Gwyneth Paltrow has started mentioning leaving Goop, her bitchy newsletter turned into a high-revenue bitchy luxury merchandise site. Speaking at the Sage Summit organized by Sage accounting software so annoying celebrities could be gifted big speaking fees to give lesser... read more

Things Not To Do When You're the Most Hated

Reflecting on her previous election by Star magazine voters as the Most Hated Celebrity in Hollywood, Gwyneth Paltrow elected to go with continued disbelief: First of all I was like, 'I'm the most hated celebrity? More than, like, Chris Brown? What did I do? read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Gracious to a Fault

Gwyneth Paltrow is all about the perfect. The perfect lip moisturizer, the perfect vacation retreat in Morocco, the perfect marriage. Until her marriage ended when Gay Beethoven could no longer stand a woman endless commenting on his choice of salad greens and locking... read more

Behold the Gwyneth Paltrow Golden Dildo

When you think of Gwyneth Paltrow, you think of hot unbridled sloppy sex. Or the girlfriend who looks on disapprovingly while you're watching porn of the same. Patlrow's elite shopping site Goop is merchandising sex toys for women who get off paying ten times retail... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow In A Bikini And Shit Around The Web

Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini does nothing for me, though I know some people think she's hot. I think she looks like Big Bird. If you think she's attractive congratulations, you want to fuck a Muppet. I'd rather fuck Ms. Piggy. (Egotastic) Michelle Lewin's booty is a work... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow's Stalker Set Free

Dante Michael Soiu has been in love with Gwyneth Paltrow for seventeen years. In the early days of theirrelationship she didn't know about he sent her letters about fucking her and followed her to her parents house. Presumably to fuck her, but he was also a pizza... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Building a Castle

Gwyneth Paltrow is backing the construction of an exclusive London style Arts Clubon Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. Membership to the multistory hangout will be expensive and exclusive. Togain membership, youmust be nominated by an existing member. Also, membersmust... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Goopy Ass And Shit Around The Web

Gwyneth Paltrow is always telling us how to live our lives. She claims if we eat all macrobiotic and shit we'll look awesome. Judging from her ass the main ingredient in her kale smoothies is cellulite. It looks like a deflated tire. To be fair to deflated tires, they... read more

Gwyneth Paltrow And Kate Hudson Night Out In Hollywood

Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson hit the same evening spot without bras to show the world that yoga and plastic surgery and money are literally unstoppable. The two celebrity moms exchanged ideas on how to fleece the female general public with merchandising cons so... read more

Ms. Paltrow Goes To Washington And Shit Around The Web

Expert on everything Gwyneth Paltrow is appearing before congress to talk about GMOs. Because, you know, having starred in Shakespeare in Love makes you a fucking scientist. Can congress have people arrested for being fucking stupid? Read all about Gwyneth's latest... read more