Hailey Baldwin Isn't Really Pissing

Hailey Baldwin is super famous model for reasons nobody can explain with a straight face. She's the fifth hottest girl in her family. Nobody's heard her speak. That's as close as you may come to unraveling the mystery. read more

Hailey Baldwin Conflicted

Hailey Baldwin was raised by born again religious skateboarding fanatics so it's no surprise she turned out kind of off. She recently gave an interview discussing her "spirituality", which is a term people from big cities use to describe beliefs which have no rational... read more

Hailey Baldwin Piling Up the Tiny Tats

There was a time when commercial product filled girls magazines cautioned teens about smoking or unprotected sex or tattoos. That was from the beginning of time up until a few years ago. read more

Hailey Baldwin Bikinis In Turks And Caicos And Shit Around The Web

Hailey Baldwin and a friend bikini in the Caribbean. Not exactly two Stephen Hawkings here. As if the world needs more smart dudes in wheelchairs. read more

Kendall Jenner Turns 21

Kendall Jenner turned 21 so the family dressed her up like Tony Montana's trophy wife and hosted a birthday party at a rented out club in Hollywood. All the big names in whoring were there. Most notably her sisters, who presented her at the end of the evening with a car... read more

Kylie Jenner And Hailey Baldwin Empire Building

Kendall Jenner officially declared her sister Kylie's new blond hair as "sick". It's like a nod from Dumbledore at Hogwart's that you're doing alright by the magic school. It's weird to see these teens out on the town in light of the fact they're all multi-millionaires at... read more

Hailey Baldwin Fractured

Hailey Baldwin's metatarsal snaps every reckless evening she spends with Justin Bieber. It's a more virulent strain of chlamydia. Bieber keeps tossing Stephen Baldwin VIP concert tickets to keep him from connecting his daughter's STD stigmata to Leviticus. read more

Hailey Baldwin Tit Cupped

Hailey Baldwin had cup therapy on her chest to heal her broken heart from her split with Justin Bieber. Numerous celebrities have taken up the ancient Chinese art of suction cup medicine because buttered coffee was making their urine stink. Sports bra mandatory days are a... read more

Kendall Jenner And Hailey Baldwin Eskimo Sisters

Justin Bieber has tagged both of these women. It's two in an impressive list that will ultimately be in his first set of memories, Just How Many Celebrity Models Can a Rich Midget Fuck? The name is meant to be rhetorical. The answer is thirty-seven. It's horrible when... read more

Hailey Baldwin in Spandex

It's hard to believe Stephen Baldwin made something worthwhile. The skateboarding for Jesus and the absurdist drunken soliloquies I buy. This chick is pretty majestic. Her familiarity with Greek tragedy and genetics might be slight enough that she is unaware her future... read more

Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin And Pia Mia Perez in Bikinis in Mexico

Mexico is sending us their rapists. We're sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely legal daughter being fucked on the... read more

Hailey Baldwin And Ireland Baldwin Find Their Purpose

Hailey Baldwin and cousin Ireland Baldwin mouth kissed on the red carpet of the Mission Impossible premiere because Ireland Baldwin was just cured of her booze and lesbianism and this was her first real test. You never know how you're treatment will hold in the field... read more