Heidi Klum Milking The Shit Out of Her New Lingerie Line

There's something truly admirable about Heidi Klum. It's likely her tiny tits. The German balloon parade never came to her town. Heidi Klum rose from the depths of being a hot teenaged chick every dude in Cologne wanted to wurst-bang to an iconic Western star who controls a vast business empire. She's Melania Trump but with a real job and less wrinkly dick inside of her night

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That Time Heidi Klum's Former Fuck Toy Saved Chris Cornell's Life

Chris Cornell has a crazy chick fan who thinks she's supposed to bear his sacred babies and likes to send threatening letters to his wife and show up to his events. Jessica Robbins had a court ordered ankle bracelet to make sure she never got close to Cornell, but she chewed through that back in May. The FBI put everybody in Cornell's tour security and local cops at his concert stops on high alert that his stalker was...read more

Heidi Klum Hosts A Party For Herself

You're never too old to lick a dripping ice cream cone in the manner of a fellatio big finish. The theme of Heidi Klum's Macy's launch party was lingerie and frozen deserts. One of these things was made within ten thousand miles of the store. Only fat sweaty people eat ice cream in their underwear.read more

Heidi Klum Goes Topless And Shit Around The Web

Heidi Klum is past her peak, it's true, but I still like seeing her naked. Maybe it's a nostalgia thing for when I used to wait for the Victoria's Secret catalog to come in the dark days before the Internet.

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Heidi Klum in A Bikini Tanning at Eden Roc

There may be something to all those celebrities lying about medical issues so they can use surrogates to birth their offspring. Breeding is the beautiful miracle of life, but a motherfucker on your abdominals. You can always spot the mothers of large broods sunning by the pool. Who hurt you, Heidi?read more

Heidi Klum in A Bikini

There's a smile reserved for women fucking men half their age. This signature achievement is like no other form of VIP designation. Older dudes get into younger women whenever they can. But post-coitus they turnnervously to the sky, like their well might dry up if Zeus randomly decides. The rare middle aged woman who confidently fucks a dude in his 20's on a boat in her bikini throws of the aura of an Ali confidence...

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Heidi Klum Models Her Intimates

Heidi Klum is the perfect weapon. She's tall and slender and blond and speaks flawless English with a European accent. She has a business brain that can calculate the Euro VAT tax to ten decimal places. Her uterus auto adjusts fertility based on the commercial viability of whoever she's fucking. She's the survival alien in Species, now worth $75 million and climbing. There are any number of good looking women in this...

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Heidi Klum In Lingerie

Heidi Klum declared she's really comfortable taking her clothes off for photo shoots where she gets to dress like that neighbor mom who lightly plays tennis that you so want to bang. Klum doesn't need the money or attention anymore from this kind of pictorial. She's just taunting. She's forty-two and bore some myriad of children to a number of connected men and she's still looks like this. She's also fucking dudes in...

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I Think I See Jessica Rabbit's Snatch

Heidi Klum appeared to flash where black German babies from from during her Halloween dress up party. It's not so shocking save for the fact this is the signal to the U-Boats at sea to begin their torpedoing of Carnival cruise line vessels. Fuck the old people and their pineapple sculptures. It's possible her bare looking snatch is part of the prosthetics she had her hand selected gay Mormon entourage sculpt onto her...

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Heidi Klum Adding Ass

Halloween is a time for Heidi Klumto escape the doldrum of being tall and hot and rich and having a young malefuck toy and eleven extremely well behaved kids or so the nanny reports indicate and just be somebody else for one night. Heidi's going as some kind of enlarged ass and tit celebrity. Perhaps Nicki Minaj or maybe a Kardashian. If she dons black face we'll hear about it everywhere but in the German papers. When...

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Heidi Klum Spanked

Heidi Klum posted a picture of her ass being spanked by The Naughty Spoon, presumably in the strong hands of her young boyfriend. There was no explanation as to what Heidi had done to deserve the whack, though it could have something to do with her family's contributions to the Nazi Germany war machine. Or she snuck a cronut. It's just comforting to know her kids and their friends at middle school can log onto the...read more

Heidi Klum Tans Buck Naked And Shit Around The Web

Heidi Klum is still looking pretty hot in spite of having had like 5 million kids and being in her late forties. You wish your girl looked this good now much less in middle age. Here she is sunbathing topless in Sardinia. Check out her Teutonic majesties. (The Superficial) Kendall Schuler's topless tits will make your wiener happy. (Egotastic All-Stars) So, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are still alive. (TMZ) James...

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Heidi Klum Bikini Vacation With Young Dick

Things got serious between Heidi Klum and that young guy she's been fucking for the past year when she dropped the "love' word on social media. Heidi has been touring the Riviera with Vito the Cock to celebratehis twenty-something birthday. Heidi explained to her children that mommy needs to leave for a while because she cums harder on high purity silica sand which can only be found outside North America. Mom works...

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Heidi Klum Looks Healthy

42 year old bobble head Heidi Klum posed for her new line of intimates, perfect to slip on after a romantic evening of rice cakes and laxatives. Klum looks pretty good for her age if she were serving time for possession. You can boil life down to not getting fat and regular trips to the spa. That is if you host a TV show which pays you a million dollars a word to sit there and nod. Beyond that if you're willing to...

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Heidi Klum Is Your Commander

The fault in the woman's rights movement is lumping everything and the kitchen sink into a broad demand for equality. As with any campaign, you need to more narrowly target your goals if you want to achieve a meaningful success. Asking for everything only guarantees you'll get nothing. Pinpointing goodies like being able to become rich and famous and divorce your husbands for the superior experience of young trophy...read more