Jennifer Aniston Scolds the Celebrity Media

Jennifer Aniston turned to the all white soul cycling female editorial bastion Huffington Post to scold the shit out of gossip rags for their intrusive running commentary on her personal life. She neglected to mention the premium celebrity magazine outlets with whom she's worked a mutually beneficial public relations campaign for the past two decades.

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Jennifer Aniston Nipping In New York And Shit Around The Web

There's a special affection a man feels for a woman whose nipples are constantly visible. It's a maternal comfort combined with an unseemly erection. This is why we have shrinks. Work that shit out. It's not Jennifer Aniston's fault she really loves the sunshine.read more

Jennifer Aniston Named Most Beautiful And Shit Around The Web

People Magazine came out with its most beautiful people issue and chose Jennifer Aniston as the most beautiful person of 2016. No, you didn't get stuck in a time warp to 1993.This is how magazines get access and how you lose faith in magazines. Her arms creep me out. (Dlisted) Amberleigh West is topless out in nature. (Egotastic All-Stars) Ariel Winter took her huge tits for a walk in a white jumpsuit. (Egotastic)...

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Jennifer Aniston Pokies

Jennifer Aniston got privately married to that actor who wears a motorcycle helmet to ensure she'd be as boring as humanly possible. Her long standing 'I don't need a man to be happy' shtick was the last vestige of interesting. She's back on set with Jason Sudeikis working on the next modestly amusing comedy you might watch four years from now on HBO if you forget the title. Her skin looks amazing. Especially around...

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Old Crone Jennifer Aniston Gets Hitched And Shit Around The Web

Rachel from that shitty Friends show, (AKA Jennifer Aniston), married her longtime boyfriend Justin Theroux in a secret wedding. And nary a fuck was given anywhere. Read all about her latest grab for relevance. (TMZ) Berit Birkeland shows off her topless tits in a pool. (Egotastic All-Stars) Enjoy Stella Maxwell's dirty dirty nipples. (Drunken Stepfather) Can you tell the celeb by the tits? (COED) rosie Roff is an...

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Angelina Jolie And Jennifer Aniston Co-Exist

A you stole my man with your slutty vagina accusation lingers on through eternity. At the time, it seemed easy to peg. Jennifer Aniston was vanilla ice cream and Angelina Jolie was hot pussy juice flavored ice cream and stole Brad Pitt because he has a dick and that's how dicks works. Jennifer Aniston has spent the past decade pretending like that's not what happened and she's crazy fuckable. Angelina Jolie has spent...

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Jennifer Aniston Savvy

Jennifer Aniston recently reminisced about about her ex boyfriend who died of brain cancer in 2007, Daniel McDonald. Aniston apparently thinks she should have settled down with himposthumously, which is amazing news to the guy she is currently banging, Justin Theroux: "He would have been the one. But I was 25 and I was stupid.He must have sent me Justin to make up for it all." Maybe that dude you fucked in Jamaica...read more

Jennifer Aniston's Withered Womb And Shit Around The Web

Old crone Jennifer Aniston wants the media to stop pressuring her to shit out a flesh-colored baby turd already.This isn't like asking the Yankees if they're going after pitching in the offseason. Aniston's about to turn 46. She can find sperm. She clearly doesn't want a kid. Jen might as well have her vagina removed and get an old lady haircut. (Dlisted) Boxer Elliott Seymour admits he took a dive in that fight with...

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Jennifer Aniston Still Making Movies

Jennifer Aniston revealed her financially motivated inspiration for reprising her role as the nympho dentistin Horrible Bosses II. The critically panned and widely considered unnecessary follow up to 2011's copacetic original features Aniston again appearing three quarters nude for use in theatrical trailers to manipulate impressionable Thanksgiving weekend stoners with no family. Aniston suddenly finds she still...

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Jennifer Aniston Mocks Kim Kardashian

Jennifer Aniston stuffed her top on the Ellen show to mock Kim Kardashian and presumably make Ellen's boxers moist with flop sweat. It was hilarious, if you're notion of pure entertainment is a future spinster mocking a woman who has a husband, a child, and more money than Qatar. Fuck, I just defended Kim Kardashian. Lightning bolt of Zeus inbound. As a woman who has spent the past decade allowing magazines to...

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Jennifer Aniston Goes Straight to Mopey

Unlike her standard publicity methodology where Jennifer Aniston first talks about being topless in her latest movie, then gets praised by vagina heads for being so brave in her 40's, then turns out not to be topless, then conjures up rumors about her dating her hunky co-star, then leaks tales of being a sexually vibrant nymph with a polyp-free colon, and then ultimately runs off and hides without any makeup in a...

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Jennifer Aniston And Gloria Steinem Are Both Swell Being Fallow

When two greats in the world of feminism like Jennifer Aniston and Gloria Steinem get together, you're going to want to grab a pound of fudge and your favorite vibrator and pull up a chair. Jennifer interviewed Gloria over the weekend at the MAKERS Conference, where women get together to celebrate women being totally fucking amazing people who are every bit as good as men who apparently don't need such conferences. ...read more

Jennifer Aniston Boobs Revisited

Someday not far off, Jennifer is going to put her boobs away in the closet, along with that publicity machine that puts out so many happy stories about Jennifer's life as a bon vivant. Chinese cups can only suction so much toxin out of the body. Eventually, people will stop tolerating you simply because you look nice in a bikini and you once gave head to Brad Pitt on his birthday. Now is the time to check out Jennifer...read more

Courteney Cox Was A Third Wheel Down In Mexico

Jennifer Aniston and her fiancée, the guy who isn't Brad Pitt, took a little lovers trip to Los Cabos in Mexico this weekend, and Courteney Cox tagged along because she probably had nothing better to do than catch up with her dear, old friend. But maybe there was something more to this trip, and Jennifer told Not Brad Pitt that she would fulfill any one of his deepest sexual desires, and he asked to have a threeway...read more