Jennifer Garner Slouching Into Single

There's that moment when a woman decides it's time to get her ass up and off to the gym. It's typically not long after her husband fucks the nanny. Jennifer Garner got the rep for mom jeans and loose fitting tops during her homemaking days. Ben always told her how... read more

Ben Affleck And Nanny Disconnect

Ben Affleck is steadily denying he nailed his nanny while she appears to be milking the rumor for all it's worth. Women love attention. Even if it's in the form of dubious claims that you're a home wrecker. People used to take pride in their job. Now they take pride in... read more

Affleck's Nanny Loving It (VIDEO)

Christine Ouzounian, the nanny who is letting everybody think she's been fucking Ben Affleck during his split with his wife, let the worldinto her inner sanctum with an Instagram photo of herself being photographed by the paparazzi and asong quote, because this is middle... read more

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Ben Affleck Guilty By Association

It's entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she's a hot Armenian chick in her late 20's. If that's who you're hiring as a nanny, given all the... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to Cohabitate

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing amicably. They intend to remain great friends and even continue to live together to parent their three carefullynamed children. Which sounds an awful lot like being married, with the exception that all that side fucking is no... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Divorcing

It's unclear if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing because he's an alcoholic and gambling addict and his family owned slaves or because he's a crappy husband. Usually one leads to the other. Few relationships endover a lack of blackjack and cigar smoking. He... read more

Jennifer Garner Resigns (VIDEO)

Ellen DeGeneres committed the ultimate social faux pas by asking Jennifer Garner if she was pregnant, the answer was no. Of course, this is all staged and producers before the show have walked Ellen and Jennifer through this mock revelation so that the exchange appears... read more

Ben Affleck Jelly Spine And Shit Around The Web

Kevin Smith revealed that his bromance with vagina-chinned Ben Affleck ended because Jennifer Garner thinks Smith is a foul mouthed fat stoner piece of shit. It's unclear if she had problems with parts of that or all of that. More importantly, this is another tale in the... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are a glamorous couple

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner drove their $100,000 Tesla Model S to get 2 dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme in Santa Monica today, and braved the rain to do it, so I assume they were stoned off their ass. That's the only time 24 donuts from Krispy Kreme sounds like a good... read more

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Ben Affleck is patriotic

Just like they do every year, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner brought their daughters to a 4th of July parade yesterday, and I can't believe it but this one was in Pacific Palisades. It totally looks like a Boston parade. Where you'd hear Dropkick Murphys 'The State Of... read more

Jennifer Garner is adorable

Jennifer Garner visited her daughters school in Santa Monica today, and despite the fact that she's an instantly recognizable actress who is married to a very famous actor, when they gave her a sticker to wear as a name tag, she actually wore it (it says "Jennifer... read more

Tuesday headlines, with Gaga on the Simpsons

LADY GAGA - will play herself on 'The Simpsons', "to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob." The message being: if you're feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew) WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT - were reportedly broken up,... read more