Jennifer Lopez and Lin Manuel Miranda, Like You Fucking Dreamed It Would Be (VIDEO)

Jennifer Lopez and Lin Manuel Miranda, the dude who brought historically reinterpreted musical theater to the masses at just $1800 a seat, have been working on a charity single to benefit the victims of the Orlando Pulse nightclub shooting. Proceeds from the culturally... read more

Jennifer Lopez Ain't Your Mama (VIDEO)

Women's rights sells. Sex also. You really have merge the two to ride the commercial wave. People who breathlessly await shitty packaged pop music videos collectively gasped in their Twitter feeds to the stunning yet supremely tired visuals in Lopez' Ain't Your Mama... read more

Jennifer Lopez Teams Up with Dr. Luke

Former Fly Girl Jennifer Lopez released a new song. Boring. The catchy new auto-tuned dittywas produced by Kesha accused rapist, hit maker and star music producer Dr. Luke. Kesha has lost every significant court battle against Dr. Luke, but she droppedthe word "rape"... read more

Jennifer Lopez Can't Quit

Jennifer Lopez has major bank from her entertainment career. She also owns a sugar plantation with seventy-three black Caribbean slaves you don't hear her talk about unless she's wasted. She's got a gay boyfriend who agrees to use the deep voice when frothing her through... read more

Jennifer Lopez A UN Ambassador Also Too

B-list actresses come out with latter day questionable lesbian credentials, the A-listers get United Nations ambassadorships for generally uplifting and vague sounding causes. Jennifer Lopez scored the coveted Advocate for Women and Girls title previously held by nobody... read more

J-Lo Can't Sit Through Mariah And Shit Around The Web

The Internet is all in a tizzy after Jennifer Lopez was caught texting during Mariah Carey's performance at the Billboard Music Awards.The more appropriate celebrity response is to pretend you're watching raptly while imaging Mariah dead and you singing at her funeral to... read more

Jennifer Lopez Supports Gay Marriage

Women with money should be able to do whatever they fuck they please just like men with money and government officials. Jennifer Lopez is going to marry her gay backup dancer in what is being reported by people who have no idea whatsoever as a multimillion dollar affair... read more

Jennifer Lopez Wears A Short Dress

Who will be the next Ford Coke Tampax American Idol? I don't know. The most important thing is that we as a nation accept the decision and quickly ignore the winner. If they're not penniless and ruined as a person within four years time, we haven't done our jobs.... read more

J-Lo Relates

At a certain point you can squat down and take a shit in front of an intern for the Post and it will be deemedrelatable. This is the situation Jennifer Lopez finds herself in. She mumbledsome fantastically uninteresting informationand had it printed in bold because she... read more

Jeremy Renner Is A Pimp And Shit Around The Web

Jeremy Renner used his two minutes as a presenter at the Golden Globes to come on to Jennifer Lopez. It's pretty fucking smooth. You shouldn't hit on a woman just because her tits are hanging out of her dress,you should also imagine you'd like her smile. This is how you... read more

Jennifer Lopez Tits Also Were Pretty Perfect

I hope the Wizard at the People Magazine awards had something in his bag for Jennifer. Her tits deserved something after two kids. I don't care if the wet nurse did all the heavy lifting. Give J-Lo an obelisk or a Hardee's gift certificate or something. When People... read more

Nobody Wore Bras to the American Music Awards

Teens, old chicks, strange foreign chicks with pasties who nobody remembers inviting. All the girls went braless last night at the American Music Awards. After watching two minutes of sunken eyed anorexics talking fashion on E!, I discovered braless is a new style trend.... read more