Jessica Alba Likely Already Dead

Assuming a large upper arm tattoo takes some careful planning and premeditation for a life together, you have to be shaking deep in your soul when a random cop rolls up to show off a mega-tat of you he has on his bicep. read more

Jessica Alba in A Bikini

Jessica Alba's new guise as concerned mom pushing chemical free household products that may or may not make your baby's genitals look like Aleppo is keeping her from showing off her tits as through most of her 20's. read more

Jessica Alba, Tech Mentor

Apple is developing unscripted TV shows now because why not. They're first show out of the gate will be completely rogue. A staged reality competition called Planet of the Apps where people make apps for the iPhone. read more

Jessica Alba Nipples Mean Six More Weeks of Honest

I'm no investment guru. I'm into my bank savings account at zero-point-three percent. I earned nine dollars in interest last year against forty two dollars in banking fees. read more

Jessica Alba Keeps the Day Job

When life gives you lemons, add some sodium lauryl sulfate and call it all-natural lemonade. Jessica Alba's Honest Company continues to be dogged by largely nuisance lawsuits because maybe her precious-for-baby household products contain a dash or two of that shit in... read more

Jessica Alba Bikini Perfection And Shit Around The Web

Billion dollar IPOs and all-natural product fraud cases come and go, what lingers in life is your ability to give tons of men raging boners. At least until forty. Jessica Alba knows precisely how to hedge her bets. read more

Jessica Alba Planned Pokies

Jessica Alba will do anything to distract from the news stories about her Honest Company's sourcing product through the Axis Chemicals waste cauldron that produced The Joker. If you have to rub ice on your nipples to rescue your IPO, cowboy up and crack open the freezer. read more

Jessica Alba Backpedaling With Locally Grown Gluten-Free Cocoa and Tits

Jessica Alba's Honest Company has taken a hit of late from various lawsuits and negative press reports related to producing their all-natural products in the late Union Carbide pesticide factory in Bhopal. A strategic error perhaps but the rents are amazing. Hazmat suits... read more

Jessica Alba Gets Sued A Ton (VIDEO)

Jessica Alba's environmentally friendly organic products company is being sued, again. It's unclear if her Honest Company is the subject of so much legal attention because of Alba's celebrity status, or because they refer to themselves as The Honest Company while... read more

Jessica Alba Flirts With Uncle Sam

Jessica Alba invited the U.S. Commerce Secretary to visit her kid care products company where they sell all natural U.S. organic healthy products made in under inspected battery acid storage plants in Guangdong. The Cabinet Secretary showed up because middle aged civil... read more

Jessica Alba in A Bikini

The upside of being famous is moms across America will buy whatever shit you're hawking because they wished they looked like you in a bikini and could fuck your hunky husband. The downside is you'll get sued thrice as often. Jessica Alba's organic diaper and Douglas fir... read more