What's the Opposite of a Sausage Party? (Hint: Taylor Swift Loves Girls)

Taylor Swift only had the most awesome Fourth of July party ever because it didn't include stupid boys. Boys will say anything to try to put their diddle sticks inside your special flowers. It's just heartbreak. Girl power to the tune of two hundred million dollars. In your face, past boyfriends.read more

Karlie Kloss In A Cut Out Dress And Shit Around The Web

Karlie Kloss wore a dress that was only partially there to the Red Obsession Party. It basically is missing the left half of the torso except for a strategically placed piece of cloth over the boob. All hotties should dress like this. Like an intergalactic space prostitute. (Hollywood Tuna) Natasha Oakley and her sister Sophia Vantuno bikini like there is no tomorrow. (Last Men On Earth) Rachel Cook gets naked in the...

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Wicked Hot Anorexics at The British Fashion Awards

The fashion business is one massive ruse. It's the equivalent of telling Jacksonville Jaguars fans that this is the year. That dress looks suspiciously like something already in your closet. I know you're paying for it yourself, but I might note that I pay for my own clothes and our rent. The entire point of designer clothing for women is to make other women jealous for not being able to fit into that same dress. A...read more

Karlie Kloss Going To College

Karlie Kloss, who possibly stole her name from the back of a Vivid Video, is putting her modeling career on hold to attend NYU although she's not clear what to major in or how to hold a pencil. Kloss began modeling at 13, meaning she clearly lacks a high school education and her being accepted into NYU probably counts as a hate crime. She has maintained an interest in technology and started a scholarship called Koding...

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68th Annual Cannes Red Carpet

Cannes started again. Nobody can seem to stop it. Cannes is the annual film event in the South of France where European people you don't know but are quite certain you would hate mix with Americans you know you hate to celebrate movies you will never watch. Roman Polanski will merge with Sean Penn and form a mega-roid-child-raping self satisfied beast that accepts the French adulation, followed shortly by their terms...

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The Women's Movement Needs Fresh Ideas

Karlie Kloss and a few other models had their likenesses removed from fashion billboards in New York to symbolize the #NotThere campaign, publicizing the too tired to arguenotionthatwomen are still not treated equally to men. You know it's a well-planned awareness campaign when you need to explain to people what it means. I thought maybe you got in a fight with Kate Spade. Is that even a real person? Did you pound...

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Karlie Kloss Nip Slip in Versace

Everybody in Paris was buzzing about Taylor Swift's lesbian girlfriend's nipple slip during the Versace show. I think. They speak that gobbledygook language. They might've been talking about what sparkling white pairs best with cock. The only excitement in a fashion show is when you see some tit. Everything else is just thewhite noise of rich people without enviablehobbies. All the designers know they're frauds with...

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Taylor Swift's Not Lesbian Girlfriend Borrowing Her Clothes

I suppose this is the natural happenstance of having a best friend who you occasionally make out with and sleeps over at your place a lot and looks rather suspiciously just like you. They're going to start dressing in your shit. At some point Taylor Swift is going to have to tell Karlie Kloss they need some boundaries and give her stuff back. Perhaps in a song. Just no confrontations on T & K's pizza and purge...

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Victoria's Secret 2014 Fashion Show British Style

The Victoria's Secret fashion show was a huge hit in London last night, aiding the country of England in their annual determination of which of their foppish male denizen are gay and which just seem super gay. It wasn't quite as crude as a boner test, more like seeing if you said something approximating 'love the feathers' at any point during the show. There were a few tense moments when producers worried the black...read more

Karlie Kloss In Lingerie

Taylor Swift's not lesbian lover Karlie Kloss really cleans up nice. After a night of Parcheesi and truth or dare that involved nothing but disheartening truths, Karlie slipped into a little something more trashy to hawk some cheap perfume. With news that Paris Hilton licensed stink is now doing $2 billion in aroma sales around the world, Victoria's Secret is stepping up the fight for a little piece of the action in...

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Karlie Kloss Seems Healthy

This is Karlie Kloss. She's a model and Taylor Swift's non-lesbian best girlfriend. She probably just says model when people ask because it's shorter and you don't have to go into details on the girls rule boys drool sleepovers at Taylor's $20 million condo. Lena Dunham often joins the duet so Taylor doesn't have to feel relatively unattractive. I give Lena credit for being the only one of the three gal pals to be...

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Taylor Swift Tongues a Model And Shit Around The Web

There are rumors flying around the web that Taylor Swift decided to try girls after being disappointed by so many men who she tortured to get into her pants. Supposedly, she's been munching on Victoria Secret model Karlie Kloss' box. If this is true, then nothing the radical Muslims say about America can bother me. We are the greatest country ever. Read all about Taylor's dabbling in tuna tacos. (The Superficial)...

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Karlie Kloss Topless And Covered In Angel Wings For Heavenly Photo Shoot

Photo Credit: Victoria's Secret [gallery ids="1740634,1740635,1740636,1740637"]

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Karlie Kloss Models Lingerie For Victoria's Secret 2014 Very Sexy Collection

Photo Credit: Victoria's Secret [gallery id="3996"]

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Fighting AIDS Has Never Been Sexier

Whoever is in charge of organizing the guest list for the annual amfAR Gala has the best and easiest job in the world, because the lead-in to Fashion Week guarantees that just about any Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated model that matters will show up. In turn, old rich guys are bound to spend tons of money for the best seats in the house, all in the name of AIDS research, but with the actual intention of...

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