They Don't Give Awards to The Smartest Chicks

Some models get it. This gig is so damn arbitrary. There are a ton of pretty girls and you look like a ton of them. When opportunity knocks, open the door, fuck it, and ask what it can do for you while you smoke a menthol on your pillow. read more

The Kushner Boys Doing Alright For Themselves

Sons of well-to-do Jersey real estate magnate, Charles Kushner, Jared and Joshua seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. The both are rumored to have been let into Harvard after dad made a $2.5 million donation to the cash-starved institution. State Department rules... read more

Karlie Kloss Brings The Cleavage And Shit Around The Web

Karlie Kloss wants you to see all of her cleavage. She's now the third highest paid model in the world thanks to being pretend gay friends with Taylor Swift. It's a thankless job, with a sweet paycheck. read more

What's the Opposite of a Sausage Party? (Hint: Taylor Swift Loves Girls)

Taylor Swift only had the most awesome Fourth of July party ever because it didn't include stupid boys. Boys will say anything to try to put their diddle sticks inside your special flowers. It's just heartbreak. Girl power to the tune of two hundred million dollars. In... read more

Karlie Kloss In A Cut Out Dress And Shit Around The Web

Karlie Kloss wore a dress that was only partially there to the Red Obsession Party. It basically is missing the left half of the torso except for a strategically placed piece of cloth over the boob. All hotties should dress like this. Like an intergalactic space... read more

Wicked Hot Anorexics at The British Fashion Awards

The fashion business is one massive ruse. It's the equivalent of telling Jacksonville Jaguars fans that this is the year. That dress looks suspiciously like something already in your closet. I know you're paying for it yourself, but I might note that I pay for my own... read more

Karlie Kloss Going To College

Karlie Kloss, who possibly stole her name from the back of a Vivid Video, is putting her modeling career on hold to attend NYU although she's not clear what to major in or how to hold a pencil. Kloss began modeling at 13, meaning she clearly lacks a high school education... read more

68th Annual Cannes Red Carpet

Cannes started again. Nobody can seem to stop it. Cannes is the annual film event in the South of France where European people you don't know but are quite certain you would hate mix with Americans you know you hate to celebrate movies you will never watch. Roman... read more

The Women's Movement Needs Fresh Ideas

Karlie Kloss and a few other models had their likenesses removed from fashion billboards in New York to symbolize the #NotThere campaign, publicizing the too tired to arguenotionthatwomen are still not treated equally to men. You know it's a well-planned awareness... read more

Karlie Kloss Nip Slip in Versace

Everybody in Paris was buzzing about Taylor Swift's lesbian girlfriend's nipple slip during the Versace show. I think. They speak that gobbledygook language. They might've been talking about what sparkling white pairs best with cock. The only excitement in a fashion show... read more

Taylor Swift's Not Lesbian Girlfriend Borrowing Her Clothes

I suppose this is the natural happenstance of having a best friend who you occasionally make out with and sleeps over at your place a lot and looks rather suspiciously just like you. They're going to start dressing in your shit. At some point Taylor Swift is going to... read more

Victoria's Secret 2014 Fashion Show British Style

The Victoria's Secret fashion show was a huge hit in London last night, aiding the country of England in their annual determination of which of their foppish male denizen are gay and which just seem super gay. It wasn't quite as crude as a boner test, more like seeing if... read more