Vanity Fair Party Best Ten Minutes of the Night

Vanity Fair chose not to cancel their annual party in favor of a corporate virtue signaling. You know Condé Nast was tempted. It may have to do with the big dollars in co-sponsorships sold to cover the cost of a swank affair that took over half of Beverly Hills in... read more

Kate Upton and Sports Illustrated Reunited

Shamelessly frame this as a bold faced promo. Fifty-one weeks a year it's okay to mock Sports Illustrated for lacking sports and focusing entirely on illustrated. A simple name change to Airbrushed Titties in Paradise would solve the truth in advertising issue while... read more

Kate Upton Does Marilyn Monroe For Love Magazine

Retiring from the public eye at twenty-two because photos of you naked and covered in man seed leaked onto the Internet set many people against Kate Upton. The photos confused Upton's insistence that the term "sex object" made her very uncomfortable. read more

Kate Upton Fucks Justin Verlander

Kate Upton and Justin Verlander fuck. It's unclear what bed frame could hold them but they definitely do. As proof, there's a photo of one time he jizzed on her large deltoid. Admit it, if you're driving along a country road and see two horses fucking, you'll pull over... read more

Kate Upton To Gain Some Weight

Kate Upton did an interview and shockingly brought up the fact that she was made fun of as a child like every model ever. This is formality they must do along with pretending to have an affinity for cheeseburgers. read more

Kate Upton No More Flabby Arms (VIDEO)

Kate Upton has been in hiding the past six months because she got chubbier and with her wedding and associated press coming up she didn't want to be seen until she kicked the Walmart shopping grandma arms. He trainer Bruno has issued a mini-treatise to People Magazine... read more

Kate Upton No Longer a Sex Object

Kate Upton quit cheesecake modeling when she decided she could no longer abide being viewed by men as a sex object. An alternative view has yet to form. Upton finalized her decision as Justin Verlander was finishing on her cheek. It's a reflective moment. Upton elevated... read more

Kate Upton Enlarged

There's rumors going around that Kate Upton is fat. It's not a rumor so much as an observation made by people to scared to call it a fact. She's getting thick again, even post-Photoshop. The bigger questions is who cares? I was going to say, just how gay are you, but not... read more

Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid And Alessandra Ambrosio Getting Paid

Fashion Week separates the wheat from the chaff. It's all fun and games to pretend you're hot at 5'1" with an obscenely plumped up bottoms and titties, but when these fashion houses are plunking down millions to sell simply stunning variations of the same shit they've... read more

Kate Upton Talks Tits And Shit Around The Web

We all know Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario have fantastic tits they get to soap in the shower daily, alone or together with some lucky bastard. They aren't showing off their tits, but they are talking about them, which is about forty-percent as good. Read their musing... read more

Kate Upton Cat Daddy Disrespect (VIDEO)

Kate Upton didn't ask to be a blond buxom model making bank and dating pro athletes, but there you go. Her drive to not be seen as a sex object is matched only by the speed at which she accepts cash somen can splashjizz onto grandma's best carpet thinking about her in a... read more

Kate Upton Will Not Be Objectified

Here's the thing about not wanting to be a sex object. You need a decent alternate public image. Something to lay out as a secondary association. I don't just have big ole knockers, I'm also a heart surgeon who saves children's lives. If that's not applicable, maybe, I'm... read more