Kate Upton No More Flabby Arms (VIDEO)

Kate Upton has been in hiding the past six months because she got chubbier and with her wedding and associated press coming up she didn't want to be seen until she kicked the Walmart shopping grandma arms. He trainer Bruno has issued a mini-treatise to People Magazine about Kate's massive dedication to physical fitness and health.read more

Kate Upton No Longer a Sex Object

Kate Upton quit cheesecake modeling when she decided she could no longer abide being viewed by men as a sex object. An alternative view has yet to form. Upton finalized her decision as Justin Verlander was finishing on her cheek. It's a reflective moment. Upton elevated herself into kitschy fashion modeling because high fashion simply won't fit around her tits. Jordan dropped basketball then came back and won two more...read more

Kate Upton Enlarged

There's rumors going around that Kate Upton is fat. It's not a rumor so much as an observation made by people to scared to call it a fact. She's getting thick again, even post-Photoshop. The bigger questions is who cares? I was going to say, just how gay are you, but not after France. Why don't you make a list of all the times you turned down a good looking woman because she was a bit chunky? If you've got an exercise...read more

Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid And Alessandra Ambrosio Getting Paid

Fashion Week separates the wheat from the chaff. It's all fun and games to pretend you're hot at 5'1" with an obscenely plumped up bottoms and titties, but when these fashion houses are plunking down millions to sell simply stunning variations of the same shit they've all been selling for years, that's when the body shaming begins for real. Haute couture doesn't tolerate a fat ass. Tall, slender, and can you go...read more

Kate Upton Talks Tits And Shit Around The Web

We all know Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario have fantastic tits they get to soap in the shower daily, alone or together with some lucky bastard. They aren't showing off their tits, but they are talking about them, which is about forty-percent as good. Read their musing on mammaries. (Drunken Stepfather) Behati Prinsloo in lingerie? Don't mind if I do. (Egotastic) Gilbert Arenas smashes the fuck out of his baby...read more

Kate Upton Cat Daddy Disrespect (VIDEO)

Kate Upton didn't ask to be a blond buxom model making bank and dating pro athletes, but there you go. Her drive to not be seen as a sex object is matched only by the speed at which she accepts cash somen can splashjizz onto grandma's best carpet thinking about her in a bikini. Upton's latest historical revision involves a claims that she chastised creepy Uncle Terry for releasing the Cat Daddy bikini dance video of...read more

Kate Upton Will Not Be Objectified

Here's the thing about not wanting to be a sex object. You need a decent alternate public image. Something to lay out as a secondary association. I don't just have big ole knockers, I'm also a heart surgeon who saves children's lives. If that's not applicable, maybe, I'm a Costco club member or I can touch my toes while my dog licks my ass. Maybe not that last one, it edges just a touch into sex object. Also, maybe...

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Kate Upton Is Athena, Not a Sex Object

Getting people to appreciate you for your cunning intellect and masonry skills is much harder when you keep taking paychecks to show off your tits. There's nothing wrong with that particular occupation unless you're a chick who wears twill cord pants and believe the UVA rape story is more true now after recanting. Or if you're Kate Upton who in between earning fat cash for bouncing her boobs in a fantasy action video...

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Kate Upton Upskirt While In Miami

Photo Credit: FameFlynet [gallery id="2844"]

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Kate Upton's Tits Will Soon Own Google

Kate Upton and a dozen or so other celebrities from the hacked titties photo imbroglio have retained the services of celebrity scandal attorney Marty Singer to threaten to sue Google for $100 million, or what the people at Google like to call, lunch money. The overwrought teen legal letter accuses Google of not being responsive enough in killing URLs featuring pictures of Kate Upton covered in Cy Young goo and...

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Camera Phone Hacking, I've Seen Them All Naked

I have looked. And I will look again. America is in a collective tizzy right now. Half of them are drenching their knee-highs to photos of celebrity exposed titties, the other half are penning lamentations on Yahoo and Huffington Post about societal decay. The big cellphone camera leak. I mean, not leak, we're supposed to call it grand larceny and conspiracy to reveal snatch to make it sound more threatening. Last...read more

Kate Upton Got Topless With Justin Verlander

Nope, I can't show you this picture either. I've been threatened with the iron mask. But you can see the big tittied blonde and the Cy Young Award winner pushing his junk up into her butt HERE. There's a bunch of other pictures too that look kind of like her big fat boobs. Probably a mix of real and fake. It's safe to say, the world will never be the same. Even Hamas and ISIS put down their swords to stroke the shit...

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Kate Upton Modeling At Age 15

For as long as Kate Upton's been upset about being seen as a sex object, she's been modeling in showy things. I went down to the small shop where the old Chinese guy lectures visitors about mogwais and bought some photos of Kate Upton modeling when she was just fifteen. It's kind of crass to stare at Kate Upton from before she had the mighty tits of Athena, but it's a solid reminder that even before the big boobs I...

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Kate Upton Feeling Fatty

"You are ugly if you don't have a curvy body, and I didn't have one, and then I got one, and thought‘Yessss!' And then people say: ‘Oh, wow, you're healthy.' And you're like, ‘Wait – what? I've been begging for this body my whole life!'" In case you don't speak nuanced model, Kate Upton is saying she gained weight, and when people remarked on her new curves, she told them it was her plan all along, and then added...read more

Kate Upton Is a Maverick

Nobody knows makeup like Bobbi Brown. Whoever the fuck that is. I thought it was dead Whitney Houston's crack pipe partner, but I guess it's some makeup artist now making a billion dollars selling concealers. She used to have Katie Holmes as her spokesmodel, but then one day she saw Katie with her Bobbi Brown makeup on and realized she looked just as dowdy as without, so she shitcanned her. Now she's hired Kate Upton...

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