Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes Going Strong Despite Obstacles

Here's a thing. Half the guys in your high school or college drama programs were gay. The number of openly gay male movie actors approximates zero. Either the reprogramming ministers are working wonders on the Greyhounds to Los Angeles or certain somebodies are finding... read more

Jamie Foxx And Katie Holmes On The DL

According to a report by Radar Online, Katy Holmes and Jamie Foxx have been sneaking around together because her divorce settlement with her gay husband prevents her from publicly dating anyone for five years. This report seems dubious. Contracts which infringe on... read more

Katie Holmes Sagging to Gomorrah

Tom Cruise looks like a fabulous million waxed dollars. Katie Holmes looks like it's time to activate the phone tree of friends to come say their final goodbyes. You can't even tell which one leads the far higher risk HIV life. It's likely Cruise reached the top of the... read more

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Katie Holmes Ass Cheeks in Directorial Debut

If you've been waiting for Katie Holmes to direct a movie about a desperate single mom, insightful tranny waitresses swapped into the traditional role of magical Negroes, and the fleecing of the working class in the subprime mortgage crisis of the late 2000's, save up... read more

Tom Cruise Is Missing And Shit Around The Web

Reports coming out of dead-eyed Katie Holmes' camp claim that demented dwarf Tom Cruise hasn't seen his daughter Suri in over a year. Since he owns his own plane, a couple helicopters, and four rickshaw boys from the Canton province, it seems unlikely he's been unable to... read more

Jamie Foxx Stops the Games

If your buddy ever tells you he sucked a dick that one time in college he's either a liar or bad at it.People rarely change. Dudes buy Harleys because there's a chick out there with a go to fetish who's going to hate herself in the morning. That's why if you were married... read more

Jamie Foxx Porking Katie Holmes And Shit Around The Web

Rumors are flying that Jamie Foxx has been slipping it to Katie Holmes. It makes sense. Short and troubled might just be her type. Foxx has an Oscar so he probably gets the ass. I think that's Hollywood law. Read all about their boring love affair. (Huffington Post) Go... read more

Katie Holmes Has No Regrets

Its the classic growing up story where a young lady gets pregnant by Kris Klein from American Pie and immediately marries a weird older guy with dark hair and a huge jaw so as to avoid any Blanket Jackson eyebrow raising. Holmes got married for casting opportunities, so... read more

Remember When We All Got Together to Not Photograph Kids?

I have pretty much every Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell high minded missive tattooed on my sleeve of awesome celebrity insights. I remember at the beginning of this year when the two headed vegan Bell-Shepard hydra bitch announced a boycott of all magazines that show... read more

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Suri Cruise Needs a Spanking

I like to think of myself as a parent to all the world's children. Kind of like Willy Wonka or Hillary Clinton or a very ambitious androgynous authoritarian, so either of those two previously mentioned. I understand that Tom isn't around to do this kind of thing. Plus... read more

Katie Holmes in a Bikini Top Monitoring Suri

Being Suri's caretaker can be no simple task. Like the drastically underpaid job of Mrs. Blaylock ensuring that Damien is not hindered in his devilish prophecy. Somebody needs to cater to her every whim and want lest she unleash a freak hailstorm in Miami or cause soccer... read more

Katie Holmes Got Scientology Stomach

I guess all those years with Tom listening to his tortured lectures on why copulation between a man and woman was not meant to take place in this Fourth Galactic Cycle took its toll on Katie Holmes. Just look at those troubled tummy lines. Gandalf's brow is less... read more