Kourtney Kardashian Bastard Reloaded

According to InTouch magazine, Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with her fourth child. InTouch has a gossip accuracy rating of about twenty percent, which ranks it a notch above every other entertainment magazine, though still below Sheila, the human resources assistant who goes to the parking structure to smoke on the fifteens and forty-fives.read more

Kourtney Kardashian Getting Kind of Old For This Shit

A thirty-seven year old mom of three fronting a Vegas nightclub in a leather bra isn't necessarily depressing. Not when she's taking home $50,000 for her troubles. More cringe worthy when she's pocketing three hundred bucks and a subjugating fingering from the club owner. Money makes the difference.

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Kourtney And Khloe Kardashian Ruin Gigi Hadid's 21st

There's some age at which going to a birthday party when you're fifteen years older than the birthday girl is deemed inappropriate. Like 8 and 23. You'll get looks when you're trying to fit into the little tea party chairs. The 30-something Kardashian sisters routinely show up to teen and young adult events because they have no friends their own age. Or friends. Anywhere the cameras go is an open invitation to film...read more

Scott Disick Humble Stalking

This isn't a good message to send to your bastard kids. Remember when mommy and daddy used to fuck in the ocean? We just sat the down and told them daddy died fighting ISIS to keep America safe from Muslims. Scott Disick sent this seven year old photo in a birthday message to Kourtney Kardashian because sniffing her old clothes and hiring private detectives to follow her no longer cut it. This thing certain men with...read more

Kardashian Nipples Take Manhattan

Combine the archetypal male fantasy of midget whores with giant potato head babies crowning through rapper creampied vaginas and you have my attention. Magic like this doesn't happen in a vacuum. There are teams of assistants providing hair and wardrobe and STD blister mitigation support. Then and only then can you say, I was there when Cloverfield revealed itself. I remember four tits and the smell of an uncleaned...read more

Kourtney Kardashian Braless

Kourtney Kardashian is often described as the chaste Kardashian sister. Quite a feat when you've had three kids out of wedlock and you've never owned a bra. That used to get you dunked to see if you were a witch. Now you get skin care companies paying to be the brand you use to excessively moisturize your chest in public. There will be a dozen new Kardashians in the coming generation. Cue System of a Down. We're going...

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Kardashian Nibbles on A Kit Kat (VIDEO)

Now that each of the Kardashian sisters have launched their own pay sites and app, they've had to enhance their content with premium shit beyond the shout outs, platitudes, and general tit grifting they do on their free media channels. Smart people don't have that much interesting to share. Vapid ambulatory pie holes even less. The production teams behind the apps are scrambling to turn any little shit they can post...read more

Justin Bieber Might Be Fucking Kourtney Kardashian

Rumors swirled over the weekend by and between people who have no interest in sports that Justin Bieber and Kourtney Kardashian weregetting it on. CNN covered it because Let's Not Call ThemMuslim Terrorists haven't killed women and children in severaldays now. It makes sense from the standpoint of Bieber trying to bang as many famous women as possible before his time runs out. The pair have been spotted leaving...

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Kourtney Kardashian Launches

Kourtney Kardashian is the final sister in the coven to launch her eponymous app. Unlike Kim's personal app focused on scheming and whoring, and Khloe's tips on how to beat the hormone tests and qualify for women'sathletics, Kourtney made her site extremely personal. As personal as you can get whenyou're not the person creating the personal content. I am so happy to finally have a space where I can share my obsessions...

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Kourtney Kardashian Nude Promotions

Kourtney Kardashian showing off where bastard babies come from encapsulates everything that's wrong with Kardashian media content. It's porn with far too much yapping between the money shots. Nobody wants to see Emmanuelle exploring erotic fabrics in Bangkok for an hour and a half anymore. I got five chubby black dudes and a girl in a mask good to go for a three minute Xhamster video. Stop cutting in divorces and...

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I Know a Girl Who Wants to Fuck Kendall Jenner Pretty Badly

Cara Delevingne sent a cake to Kendall Jenner featuring the two of their faces melded into one, surrounded by candy lips and nipples and a handy veiny dong. I'm not sure how a lesbian says we should be together, but this seems like the right sugary come-on. Delevingne played the cake off as a total joke, which she does so well moments beforeshe's two knuckles deep into your Fudgie the Whale.She's nailed a lot of pussy...

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Kourtney Kardashian Legs Akimbo

To win back your Kardashian sister you have to very publicly get plastered and fuck a bunch of random women. It reminds them of their dad. And mom. Lamar Odom did it. Props to you, champ. Now Scott Disick has begged Kourtney Kardashian to take him back after a three month bender of Stella Artois and teenage model pussy. Some men find better and realize they are better while others find it only reminds them of the weak...read more

Kourtney Kardashian's Kid Knows the Drill

Kourtney Kardashian ditched the faith healing circle around Lamar Odom to get her ass on over to Tyga's kids birthday party where there was a ton of eligible rappers in Ferraris. There's no shame in wanting a black dude of your own to help you not raise your children. Kardashian's middle kid knows the stats. He fares better with a shitty stand-in dad than he does with no father at all. He pulled back mom's top and...

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Kourtney Kardashian Daughter Takes One to the Chin

You're a pretty sick bastard if the sight of a girl taking a car door to the face makes you laugh. I did. You can see the high-speed frame shots HERE. People are criticizing Kourtney Kardashian for reflexively waiting for her nanny to appear on the scene to assist her daughter crying on the ground after taking a car door to the face in Malibu. Who doesn't remember their oblivious mom peacocking them around town for...

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Kourtney Kardashian Topless In Vanity Fair

Kourtney Kardashian released photos from Vanity Fair where she appears to be writhing in pain from family branded diet powder withdrawal. Like Trainspotting, but even less intelligible. With three illegitimate children, Kourtney Kardashian has always been seen as the thoughtful sister among the porn family coven. I question the wisdom of these photos. Wait for the Red Cross to arrive with a hot meal and a blanket....read more