Khloe Kardashian Recalls Her Pretty Baby Moments

Kris Jenner forced daughter Khloe Kardashian to get beauty treatments when she was just thirteen. It was a facial and a sneaky armpit waxing. You have acne and male pattern hair growth. You think the nice neighbor man paying our electric bill needs to see that? Khloe recounts the event like she's Jodie Foster talking about that one time on a pinball machine. I remember when I was like 13 years old, my mom made me get...read more

Bruce Jenner Still Clinging To His Junk

Bruce Jenner is balking at going full Caitlyn. He's not yet ready to give up the package. It's the final step on this wondrous voyage of self-discovery, self-involvement, and self-absorption.When you can grab the cock and nuts out of Master Kan's hands, it is time to walk the earth a woman. Even Jenner refers to the lopping off process as 'gender confirmation'. Which seems odd since the working fable is that he was...read more

Kris Jenner Struggles

There can't be anything more tortured than Kris Jenner talking to Ellen about Bruce Jenner turning into Caitlyn Jenner and dating men. Bruce Jenner has gone to more extreme lengths to cover up the fact that he loved the man cock than any other male born on this planet. So in denial about being an athlete stud who wanted to be in a dress taking it up the dumper, he turned himself into a woman so that he could explain...read more

Kris Jenner Master Vulture

Nicole Brown Simpson's name has come up again in the news as FX continues to promote the shit out of the OJ trial movie they made because absolutely nobody had any better ideas. When Nicole's name comes up, you can either say, man, that sucks how she got her head cut off by that crazy fucker O.J., or you can delve into how her murder was kind of all about you. Kris Jenner pushed herself into People magazine for an...

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Maria Shriver Touts Kris Jenner As a Role Model for Women (VIDEO)

Maria Shriver seems like a nice enough person who lives in one wicked epoxied socialite bubble. It's that old money thing where you care desperately for the less fortunate primarily as an intellectual process. You miss a lot of the nuance. Like how your horny HGH husband with the clown hair you no longer fuck is not going to bang a baby into the maid because he goes to church on Sundays. Or how Kris Jenner may...

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Kris Jenner AARP And Shit Around The Web

Kris Jenner, the mother of literally all whores, is turning 60 and the Kardashian Klan is going all out. They are spending 2 million dollars to celebrate the fetid maw of a vagina that they all fell out of. The African-American people should sue Kris Jenner's vagina for the spike in STD cases in their community but we all know black people can't win in court. Read all about their fuck off party. (TMZ) Candice...

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Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Wing Girl

Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being celebrated for her new cover of Haute Living magazine, which is apparently a magazine in English published somewhere. Jenner is the opposite of that mom who fights with her teen daughter over dressing...

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Rob Kardashian Death to Be An E! Ratings Bonanza

Every male member of the Kardashian family deals with the stress of being emasculated by the coven of shrillshe-demons in their own self-destructive manner. Lamar Odom holedup in a motel smoking crack with Vietnamese twinks. Bruce Jenner chose to lopoff his dick. Rob Kardashian is binge eating. The familydecided the chunkyscion should no longer be featured on the mothership show designing socks or trying to spell the...

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Kardashian Girls Leave No Money on the Table (VIDEO)

If you're wondering why Vagina Dad's girl children were not available to appear on the Diane Sawyer interview, it's because they were holding back on an E! two night special of their own documenting their own reactions to Jenner's gender bending announcement. There are emotions and then there are emotions you can turn into dollars on a cable net that has you and Sex and the City reruns to its name. NBC Universal which...read more

Rob Kardashian Deconstructed

The Kardashian whoremachine is floating a few trial balloons as reasons why Rob Kardashian referred to his sister Kim on Twitter as a lying manipulative murderous bitch. According to sources that are almost certainly Kris Jenner's media team, Rob Kardashian is just a silly prankster who loves practical jokes. Funny gags like eating disorders, depression, ditching his sister's wedding, punching women, and cutting sock...

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Kris Jenner Scores 100 Million Whore Points

I'm not sure what $100 million U.S. is in haggard vagina dollars, but it's probably still a lot. Kris Jenner nailed down a fat Comcast contract for herself and her sexually active ducklings to keep making their show on E!, inclusive of TV spin-offs, digital projects, and aerosolizing toxins from the top of tall towers to retard a next generation of viewers. It's moments like these when I think of every single letter...

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Put The Needle In Her Arm Already

Kris Jenner posted aphoto of her crying grandchild North West understandably having a tantrum while waiting for her super straight dad's suede booty fashion show to start. That's fine. Tagging Beyonce and a host of other celebrities in the post could be pushing it.I feel we should allow children the decision to become useless assholes instead of having the decision thrust upon them. Like with Mormons or those guys who...

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Kris Didn't Know Bruce Wanted To Be A Chick And Shit Around The Web

Mother of whores Kris Jenner is telling inside sources that she was unaware that Bruce Jenner wanted to be a chick. She says that's how bad the communication was or some shit. That is pretty bad when you don't know that your husband wants to cut off his dick. Read all about the extent of Kris' denial. (TMZ) Elsa Hosk in see-through underwear? Yes, please, and thank you. (Egotastic) Mila Kunis is a big fan of her huge...

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Kris Jenner Isn't Really Wearing Pants

Remember that time Kris Jenner announced she would shove a finger up Muhammad's ass during sex because he was into that kinky shit? C'mon, ISIS, she's right there in Paris. The aging succubus with see-through pants. Ready, aim, Allahu Akbar. We can look the other way. No unity rallies. The Times will order its staff to use the term 'errant youth' and establish a multicultural understanding fund. Fire. Photo Credit:...

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Kris Jenner the Toast of Paris

There is one single spot left on this planet where Kris Jenner is roundly lauded by the public. Welcome to Paris. Homegrown jihadi terrorism and the pervasive smell of rotten apricots used to be the French capital's two most off putting qualities. Until cheering crowds circled Kris Jenner shouting shit in French that basically translates to, I love you! Use my bidet to clean your acidic tinkle! For a short while we...

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