Kris Jenner Spins Like a Spider (VIDEO)

Kris Jenner has a PhD in the manipulation of the human celery stalks comprising her family's fan base. She can spin an embarrassing loss into a win with legendary agility. read more

The Many Faces of Still Fat Rob Kardashian

People magazine reports that Still Fat Rob Kardashian is diabetic and depressed and too dangerous to be left alone with his hooker baby. In contrast, Us Weekly reports that Kardashian is feeling fantastic, committed to healthy living, and coos aloud for the daddy time he... read more

Kendall Jenner Turns 21

Kendall Jenner turned 21 so the family dressed her up like Tony Montana's trophy wife and hosted a birthday party at a rented out club in Hollywood. All the big names in whoring were there. Most notably her sisters, who presented her at the end of the evening with a car... read more

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The Chick Who Fucked OJ Is Not Quality

Apparently Kanye West and Kylie Jenner were up for a shoe contract so the mom blasted some shit out to the press. It's not easy to turn an Olympian gay. read more

Khloe Kardashian Recalls Her Pretty Baby Moments

Kris Jenner forced daughter Khloe Kardashian to get beauty treatments when she was just thirteen. It was a facial and a sneaky armpit waxing. You have acne and male pattern hair growth. You think the nice neighbor man paying our electric bill needs to see that? Khloe... read more

Bruce Jenner Still Clinging To His Junk

Bruce Jenner is balking at going full Caitlyn. He's not yet ready to give up the package. It's the final step on this wondrous voyage of self-discovery, self-involvement, and self-absorption. When you can grab the cock and nuts out of Master Kan's hands, it is time to... read more

Kris Jenner Struggles

There can't be anything more tortured than Kris Jenner talking to Ellen about Bruce Jenner turning into Caitlyn Jenner and dating men. Bruce Jenner has gone to more extreme lengths to cover up the fact that he loved the man cock than any other male born on this planet.... read more

Kris Jenner Master Vulture

Nicole Brown Simpson's name has come up again in the news as FX continues to promote the shit out of the OJ trial movie they made because absolutely nobody had any better ideas. When Nicole's name comes up, you can either say, man, that sucks how she got her head cut off... read more

Maria Shriver Touts Kris Jenner As a Role Model for Women (VIDEO)

Maria Shriver seems like a nice enough person who lives in one wicked epoxied socialite bubble. It's that old money thing where you care desperately for the less fortunate primarily as an intellectual process. You miss a lot of the nuance. Like how your horny HGH husband... read more

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Kris Jenner AARP And Shit Around The Web

Kris Jenner, the mother of literally all whores, is turning 60 and the Kardashian Klan is going all out. They are spending 2 million dollars to celebrate the fetid maw of a vagina that they all fell out of. The African-American people should sue Kris Jenner's vagina for... read more

Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Wing Girl

Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being celebrated for her new cover of Haute Living... read more

Rob Kardashian Death to Be An E! Ratings Bonanza

Every male member of the Kardashian family deals with the stress of being emasculated by the coven of shrill she-demons in their own self-destructive manner. Lamar Odom holed up in a motel smoking crack with Vietnamese twinks. Bruce Jenner chose to lop off his dick. Rob... read more