Lena Dunham Leaving If Hillary Doesn't Take Over

Lena Dunham known for her fierce feminism and the constant smell of wet woodland mammal that follows her like a Pig-Pen dirt cloud is ditching the United State if Donald Trump beats Hillary Clinton in November. Unlike previous celebrities who have said unlike previous celebrities they are truly serious about leaving, Dunham stated that she is truly serious about leaving unlike previous celebrities. Dunham posted this...read more

Lena Dunham Gets A Ring

Lena Dunham has a boyfriend. All you girls feeling sorry for yourselves for being single should feel even sorrier. Dunham's boyfriend, musician Jack Antonoff, put a ring on it. It being Dunham's sausage finger. Stay calm. It's not an engagement ring. He should be so lucky to lock up this prize for a lifetime. It's merely an anniversary gift commemorating the first ring he ever bought her thought to be lost somewhere...read more

Dunham Stumps for Hillary

Lena Dunham has committed to consuming nothing but partially hydrogenated oils and barn owl hatchlings until Hillary Clinton is sworn in as the first female President. Lena and her cult like following of Upper West Side feminists and the HBO executives scared shitless of them have been stumping for Hillary double time to see she defeats Bernie Sanders in New York. Ergo, invent conveniently exclusive underdog scenario....read more

Lena Dunham Fat Girl Gatekeeper

Lena Dunham is obsessed with her own every bowel movement. Filled with corn niblets and license plates as it is. You can'tpretend her narcissism is method acting anymore. Even Daniel Day Lewis doesn't stay in character forfive years. Dunhaminjected herself into the Amy Schumer-Glamour spat about what constitutes plus-size. I think what Amy was really saying was just, like, let's remove the labels, and she was just...read more

Lena Dunham Lives

Lena Dunham announced that she's going to make a full recoveryfollowing ovarian cyst surgery. Reaction was mixed.Doctors went through her abdomen because there weren't straws short enough to draw forvaginal insertion duty. Every fifth Facebook Like to Dunham's surgery diarywins a laminated length of her ulcerated fallopian tube. You can't win if you don't enter. Dunham recovered just in time for her pro-Clinton...read more

Lena Dunham Twisting Into A Knot

In the wake of another post-production hit job, doughy Lena Dunham has sworn off all manipulation of her likeness saying, "I want to be able to pick my own thigh out of a lineup." That makesher the only one. The reason magazines put her on the cover is because they know women in line at supermarkets will see Dunham and buy the magazine to mitigate their self-loathing. Nobody judges themselves in a vacuum. She's fat....read more

Dunham Cries Photoshop

Lena Dunham has accused a Spanishmagazine of heavily Photoshopping the picture of her on their cover. Dunham wrote on Instagram, "...this is NOT what my body has ever looked like or will ever look like- the magazine has done more than the average photoshop. So if you're into what I do, why not be honest with your readers? Much love, Lena." It turns outthe magazine didn't touch up the picture. It's just from a...read more

Lena Dunham Digs for Clinton

Lena Dunham is Hillary Clinton's biggest fan. It's like being endorsed by Satan. Or Satan's more annoying fat sister who used to diddle Satan's younger sister when she was in kindergarten then wrote a book about it laudedby wealthy asexual women with scaly skin. Dunham slid down the reinforced pole into her fat cave to rant about Hillary Clinton receiving decidedly rougher treatment from the press than any other...read more

Lena Dunham Subs for Hillary

Lena Dunham took over the Hillary Clinton Instagram account for the weekend in a convergence of non-fetching women so intense it almost collapsed the space time continuum. Dunham kicked off the weekend with a few posts about her cute outfits and why wrinkly old vagina is really the best kind. Then she got low blood sugar and spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday locked inside a Lobster Roll food truck throwing...read more

Lena Dunham Is New York's Fault

You look at this squirrelly self-satisfied jelly rolland her mediocre talent and her bold literary tales of fingering her little sister and wonder who the hell is backing her? It's New York. In certain parts of the city, the parts that matter in terms of media influence, she is invokedlike Jesus at a Huckabee family reunion.New Yorkers love to hypetheir multicultural international immigrant United Colors of Benetton...read more

Lena Dunham Melds Into "The Simpsons

It's been a big week for Lena Dunham. First, the fake boyfriend breakup story she staged on social media to remind the world that somebody thinks she's fuckable and his name is Jack. She got to interview Hillary Clinton for her new website, YetiSquats.com, wherein the two gal pals labeled each other feminists and tried to outdo each other in explaining how much they totally don't hate men. Finally, Dunham's getting a...read more

Lena Dunham Not on the Market

Lena Dunham cleared up Internet rumors that she was breaking up with her boyfriend before any more of her sycophantic fans tried drown their grossly symbiotic sorrows in gamsof Fudgie the Whales. When she suffers, they suffer. It's like E.T. and Elliot if both were pre-diabetic and high on Charleston Chews. The breakup rumors began when the world's most narcissistic BBW posted messages to Instagram intimating she was...read more

Ginormous Lena Dunham Cry for Help

The headline read, Lena Dunham shares distressing Instagram post. Youhad to figure it was the attached image of the large lady from the circus in a blind selfie stupor. But, no, it turns out Dunham left a cryptic message about how hard it is to be doughy and annoying and super modestly talented and still be wealthy and lauded around Manhattan and served the gluten-free pasta at fancy restaurants because everybody who...read more

Lena Dunham Removes Gunt Selfie

Lena Dunham spends a lot of time working thefat shaming meme for fun and profit. The self-described actressand writer posted a picture of her old man swollen prostate gunt to Instagram long enough for it to be seen by millions of innocents who probably did shitty things in their past lives. Dunham waited some period of time then removed the photo citing the destructive nature of body disparaging trolls on the horizon:...read more

Lena Dunham Knows Abortion and Fashion

Combining her two super powers of memorizing the street address of every single abortion clinic in Manhattan and making tranny Rican street walkers in the Bronx feel good about their looks, Lena Dunham is launching a website in September called Lenny. The site is named after her vibrator that Jesus gave legs to escape when he learned of the toy's ungodly fate. In the vein of Gwyneth Paltrow's cult of personality Goop...read more