Lindsay Lohan Shockingly Only 30

Lindsay Lohan is officially the youngest cougar on earth. It's almost like in porn where they only have teens and milfs. Certainly there should be an in between but apparently not. You just leap from one to the other. read more

Lindsay Lohan Forgets Christmas

Here's something to consider when apologizing to a town in London where you forgot to show up to light the central square Christmas tree, don't send your apologies in an Instagram video from Bali. read more

Lindsay Lohan Debuts Her New Accent (VIDEO)

Thirty seems like a good age to re-invent yourself. Many people would consider giving up excessive drinking or abusive relationships or even resolving to find a job. Lindsay Lohan chose a new accent. read more

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Lindsay Lohan Struggling With Donald Trump's Rude Comments from 2004

The latest craze for women is to struggle with bad jokes made about them long ago by Donald Trump. In recently discovered Howard Stern tapes from 2004, discovered by way of Howard Stern's people pulling together clip compilations of Trump interviews on their show, read more

Lindsay Lohan Goes Muslim

For unknown reasons Lindsay Lohan has become passionate about the Syrian refugee crisis, probably to get attention. She was in a Turkish camp wearing a hijab and shooting the shit with the huddled masses, even dawning a medical coat to 'assist with pediatric medical... read more

Lindsay Lohan Severs Her Ring Finger

There are numerous reasons why one might lose their ring finger. Gollum attack comes to mind. Pissed off ex-fiancee wanting the rock back he bought you on his father's Amex black is another. read more

Lindsay Lohan Sells Her Soul to Turkey

Lindsay Lohan signed away her publicity rights in Turkey to a made-up company with zero Google search results for the sum of two million dollars. read more

Lindsay Lohan Was Beaten

Lindsay Lohan spoke about her time banging Russian trust fund douche Egor Tarabasov, and has now revealed that he physically abused her. You should really never blame the victim. Yet sometimes it's helpful to question whether the victim is actually a victim, or if someone... read more

Lindsay Lohan Rolls On

Fresh off breaking her engagement to a rich Russian boy she claims routinely assaulted her though she never filed charges and her own online media posts make her look like the aggressor, Lindsay Lohan found a new love of her life. Dennis Papageorgiou. He's a restauranteur... read more

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Lindsay Lohan Butt Hurt

Lindsay Lohan posted a photo to Instagram complaining that her ex-boyfriend has not apologized to her yet. No word on whether he's apologized to his family for dating Lindsay Lohan. This is what passes for communication these days. It's impossible to make a coherent point... read more

Lindsay Lohan Seems To Be Patching Things Up (VIDEO)

Things seem to be going much smoother now for Lindsay Lohan and her younger Russian boyfriend since they worked thing out by Lindsay accusing him of fucking Russian prostitutes and shrieking on her balcony in London. read more

Lindsay Lohan Smoking for Two Now

Lindsay Lohan bolted for Sardinia on the heels of blowing up wasted at her Russian boyfriend and declaring herself pregnant. She's been chain smoking cigarettes on the beach which either means she's lying about that pregnancy part, or she's following in her mom's... read more