Liv Tyler's Ass Is Back

It's been a whole two days since I've had Liv Tyler's wet derriere boarding a sea-faring vessel like a pear shaped pirate. That's forty-eight hours too long. Unlike the celebrities with their asses injected full of pigeon fat and finely ground gravel, Liv Tyler got her wide ass the old-fashioned way. Eating and making babies. Stop hating mothers and respect that ass. Photo Credit: AKM-GSI [gallery...

read more
Liv Tyler In A Bikini

Liv Tyler had a nice run. If I had found out my dad was really Steven Tyler, I would've packed on fifty, pierced my nose, and started volunteering the swing shift at a Planned Parenthood. With every abortion I'd wonder why that couldn't have been me. Perhaps I'm more sensitive than Liv Tyler who just went on to model and make crappy movies while looking great for a decade. But time always catches up to us. Especially...

read more
Liv Tyler Is Interesting Again

The Liv Tyler story is one of confused rock star paternity, wild teenage music video days, topless ingenue movie making, and then a 15 year dry spell. I think she made a baby, got divorced, and did some stoic performances in the Middle Earth movies during those lost years. Now I can see her panties again. I'm not saying she's back. But this is certainly a good way to start making up for Armageddon. Photo Credit:...

read more
liv tyler picks her nose

As if the sight of Liv Tyler didn't already make my dick shrivel, with her big fat ass and a chest so flat it makes you think her head is on backwards, today she decided to really go for it by picking her nose at the table during breakfast in Los Feliz. Her friend looked appropriately disgusted, but Liv didn't seem to notice. It seems silly now but I always assumed the worst thing about having a meal with Liv Tyler...

read more
ENOUGH ALREADY LIV

Um, okay Liv Tyler, we get it. You’re fat. Enough already. You don’t have to be eating 24 hours a day. You can lay out for an hour without food. I saw a set of pictures one time where she stopped at some deli and then ate the sandwich on the street on the way to some little sidewalk café. In other words, she stopped to get food on the way to get food. i don't have a dictionary in front of me, but I'm willing to bet...

read more
LIV TYLER IS SINGLE

Liv Tyler and her husband Royston Langdon announced their separation yesterday after 5 years of marriage, but don't think this is just another example of a flaky Hollywood marriage. Banditos and squaws come from very different worlds, and their love faced many challenges. People says..."Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation. They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are...

read more
ARE YOU GD KIDDING ME

I knew this of course but an article in todays USA Today just about knocked me over by putting it all together. We have three superhero movies out this summer, and they star Maggie Gyllenhaal, Liv Tyler and Gwyneth Paltrow. WTF. The choice of Maggie Gylenhaal is especially inexcusable, since Batman could be great. She looks like a sad cartoon turtle. Say what you will about Katie Holmes, but at least she looks human,...

read more
I THINK I'M IN LOVE

Liv Tyler was in the Caribbean last week, possibly because she heard there was an island where pale fatties with hilariously small heads were revered as gods. Now she's all set. [gallery columns="6"]

read more
LIV TYLER IS RACIST

Liv Tyler and her husband who I think is from the band Spacehog but I don't care so I didn't look it up, went dressed as racist rich white people who think other cultures are basically the zoo. Don't get me wrong, I support just about every prejudice you can think of, but I'm a dickhead, I'm supposed to, she holds herself up as some uppity do-gooder liberal. I'm working hard to bring back intolerance, but I'm only one...

read more
HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION!!!

It only makes sense that in a city of 8 million people, Dax Shepard and Liv Tyler would be having lunch (wait what...) and suddenly Kate Bosworth would sit down right next to them. And then Liv would try to get to first base with Kate. Holy moly, you'd think Kate had a chocolate center by the way Liv pounces on her. Seriously, that’s a pretty passionate kiss, and kissing is the hottest form of foreplay, and the fastest...read more

LIV TYLER IS TUBBY

Liv Tyler eating?!? This picture isone in a million! [gallery id="1267"]

read more