Madonna Is Gay In Time of Need

It's getting about that time where you take Old Yeller out behind the barn and put a shotgun in her mouth. Madonna loves attention. Just not the kind you get from your husband or children or anyone you know personally. Madoona responded to the mass shooting in Orlando with a bunch of self promotional garbage that she's too far gone to recognize as offensive.read more

Madonna Horny Old Woman

If it were 50 years ago, Obama would have already fucked Madonna dozens of times. Sure he could get hotter tail but Presidents are pretty obsessed with status. As it is he's probably only banged her a handful of times. Back when he was the Senator of Illinois Obama attended a lot of Chicago Bulls games and Madonna fucked their entire roster. It follows that they probably got it on although he was probably in too much...

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Lee Daniels Sincerely Apologizes to Sean Penn

Defamation laws are tricky. You can state that Lee Daniels' dad beat the shit out of him with an electric cord when he found Daniels trying on his mom's high heels. Daniels himself noted that on his application for a prime time LGBT award. You can't suggest Sean Penn beat his wife because Penn carries a signed letter from Madonna in his coat pocket that states Penn never physically abused her.

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Madonna Is Gross And Shit Around The Web

Feeble crone Madonna was still trying to shock us by wearing assless pants to the Met Gala and then sucking her finger seductively at the after party. Wigged Gollum fetishists to the front of the line.read more

Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

The Met Gala is New York's version of the Oscars, only you don't have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere to guerrilla shoot. More movies about what it's like to grow up with two literati parents who ignored you, please.read more

Madonna Stealing Parking

There are 1.6 million people living on the island of Manhattan. There are three parking spots. Madonna decided she needed more reserved spots for visits from her Kabbalah rabbis and Moroccan dancing boyfriends so she put up fake NO PARKING signs in front of her forty million dollar townhouse and spray painted the curbside yellow. She's not the first rich grifter to figure out this ruse. She might've got away with it...read more

Selena Gomez Bikini Piano And Shit Around The Web

It's unclear why Selena Gomez is playing piano in a bikini other than Selena Gomez not in a bikini doesn't get viewed 800,000 times. Val Fit shows her butt in a sexy shoot in Cali. (Last Men On Earth) Selena Gomez tickles the ivory in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather) Kendall Jenner in a bikini because Kendall Jenner. (Popoholic) Frances Bean Cobain divorces the dude that looks just like her dead dad. (TMZ) Bras should...

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Madonna Titty Reveal Victim Is Seventeen, Also, Staged

That young chick Madonna pulled up on stage and talked about being super hot and filling her holes and then ripped her top off, turned out to staged. Josephine Georgiou is an aspiring model in Australia, which means she doesn't have the looks to be an actual model. Ms Georgiou said she was told she would get up, dance with Madonna, that Madonna would spank her, they would walk down the runway together, flip off the...

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Madonna Exposes Titty

Madonna's derailment is near complete. Her train is careening toward a sewage treatment plant that's full of Chernobyl diarrhea. She fucked up again this week on her Australian tour. Madonna brought a fan on stage and talked about her hot assPat O'Brien voicemail style. Madonna yankedthe girl's top down, flashing amateur titty. "Oh shit. I am so sorry. Sexual harassment. You can do the same to me." Madonna pointed...

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Madonna Cock Crazy

At a concert in Australia over the weekend, Madonna recited the lament of all sixty-year-old women who relied on their sexual guile before becoming members of AARP, "Fuck me. Please, someone fuck me."Finally, in a drunkenimplosion, she has revealed the true source of her angst. No dick. In recent months, Madonna has been telling anyone who will, or won't, listen about how much she misses her son, Rocco, who's caught...

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Madonna Needs To Fucking Stop And Shit Around The Web

Desiccated crone, Madonna, embarrassed herself further by dressing up like a clown on suicide watch and drunkenly singing "Send in the Clowns". It's time to retire, Madonna. Go practice your Kabbalah witchcraft at an old folks home in Boca Raton. Send in the clowns? They're already here. (Dlisted) Russian singer and classy lady Nadeea Vollanova wears assless pants. (Last Men On Earth) Why is Justin Bieber all wet? Is...

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The Rocco Plan Seems To Be Going Well

A New York judge ordered Madonna and Guy Ritchie to work their shit out with their son privately for the best interest of Rocco. Neither parent was present in-person to discuss how much they loved and cared for their son. Ritchie called-in from England where they have no airplanes and Madonna dialed in on a free conference line from New Zealand where she's on tour. Ding. Madonna has now entered the conference. Judge...

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Madonna And Child

Madonna posted an old picture of her son, Rocco, on her Instagram. In the photograph, Rocco is shirtless and smiling with a wreath of flowers around his neck. The caption reads, "I miss this boy so full of lifeso full of love!I hope we see that Leo Sun soon. The light is blinding!" Either this form of parenting is familiar to you, or you didn't grow up with a narcissistic mother who had undiagnosed Borderline...

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Madonna Fears Her Son May Be Straight

Madonna's son Rocco fled the U.S. at the end of last year to be with his dad Guy Ritchie in London because dad didn't insist he share quarters with three dozen Moroccan boy dancers who smell like liniment and make strange guttural noises in the middle of the night. Madonna filed a series of legal challenges yet to be decided to demand her son back. She's recently hired a private investigator to trail her son in...

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Rocco Runs Away

Madonna's fifteen year old son Rocco ran away to England to be with his dad Guy Richie because he didn't like spending his life on world tour with his mom. Long ago she stoppedputting the sock on the door when she was fucking her gay backup dancers who really really need this gig. Even England is better. Dad hardly works. He's there for you. You have to watch soccer. It's a steep price. But not as steep as finding...

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