Rocco Ritchie Doesn't Share Mom's Affections

It was only a week ago that Madonna made her feelings clear in various celebrity magazines about her unconditional love and support for her teen son Rocco. This after Rocco fled to the U.K. to live with his by-comparison superior parent and smoke a little weed. read more

Madonna Squeezing in Time to Have Her Son's Back

Madonna issued a statement through People magazine that she loves her teen son and will stand by him through his upcoming drug trial. Not a trial so much as having to pay a fine for minor possession of marijuana read more

Run, Don't Walk, from Madonna Snatch

Having Madonna imply on social media that she's fucking you hasn't been cool since twenty years before social media. You can't blame the old crone for non-stop self promotion into her carved up golden years. Still, you're going to want to get out of the way of the... read more

Madonna Offers to Swallow Hillary Voters (VIDEO)

The amount of irony involved in Madonna stepping up to the microphone at an Amy Schumer comedy concert and offering blow jobs to audience members in exchange for voting for Hillary Clinton is difficult to count. But let's start with the first three. read more

Madonna Voting Naked for Hillary

Hillary Clinton's campaign is pushing two fronts. Female celebrities getting naked to encourage voting and essays by apologetic men in HuffPo and similarly leaning publications about how people who dislike Hillary only do so because she's a woman. read more

Madonna Is Gay In Time of Need

It's getting about that time where you take Old Yeller out behind the barn and put a shotgun in her mouth. Madonna loves attention. Just not the kind you get from your husband or children or anyone you know personally. Madoona responded to the mass shooting in Orlando... read more

Madonna Horny Old Woman

If it were 50 years ago, Obama would have already fucked Madonna dozens of times. Sure he could get hotter tail but Presidents are pretty obsessed with status. As it is he's probably only banged her a handful of times. Back when he was the Senator of Illinois Obama... read more

Lee Daniels Sincerely Apologizes to Sean Penn

Defamation laws are tricky. You can state that Lee Daniels' dad beat the shit out of him with an electric cord when he found Daniels trying on his mom's high heels. Daniels himself noted that on his application for a prime time LGBT award. You can't suggest Sean Penn beat... read more

Madonna Is Gross And Shit Around The Web

Feeble crone Madonna was still trying to shock us by wearing assless pants to the Met Gala and then sucking her finger seductively at the after party. Wigged Gollum fetishists to the front of the line. read more

Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

The Met Gala is New York's version of the Oscars, only you don't have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere... read more

Madonna Stealing Parking

There are 1.6 million people living on the island of Manhattan. There are three parking spots. Madonna decided she needed more reserved spots for visits from her Kabbalah rabbis and Moroccan dancing boyfriends so she put up fake NO PARKING signs in front of her forty... read more

Selena Gomez Bikini Piano And Shit Around The Web

It's unclear why Selena Gomez is playing piano in a bikini other than Selena Gomez not in a bikini doesn't get viewed 800,000 times. Val Fit shows her butt in a sexy shoot in Cali. (Last Men On Earth) Selena Gomez tickles the ivory in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)... read more