Mariah and Bryan Flaming Passion

There's no book on how to maintain your beard that isn't chiefly about facial hair grooming. You'd think by now one of the more successful female entertainers would've put together a How-To guide to running your male companion show pony. read more

Mariah Carey Confirms Her Beard

Rumors of Mariah Carey's relationship with her dance team member Bryan Tanaka were heretofore only rumors. Or technically a paid publicity campaign according to her Schedule C business write-offs. Carey officially confirmed the blatantly staged romance for the first time... read more

Mariah Carey Not Getting Great Workout Results

Mariah Carey continues to rehabilitate her public image after being kicked off the billionaire's yacht. She's chosen to engage in an array of completely unbelievable activities. read more

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Mariah Carey Victimized

Mariah Carey is sticking to her story that the production company which produced her failed New Year's Eve performance did it on purpose to fuck with her. If this was coming from Bruce Springsteen, you'd want to bend an ear and hear him out. read more

Mariah Carey Can't Release

Mariah Carey is launching her own investigation into the conspiracy of events that led her to to a lip-synch fail on national television on New Year's Eve. Carey's determination to get to the bottom of things follows a vaunted history of annoying egomaniacs searching for... read more

Mariah Carey's Boyfriend Just Got Gayer

Mariah Carey's new reality show features her gay boyfriend Bryan Tanaka jumping out of a cake and giving her a lap dance. They were initially going to do it the other way around, but Tanaka is a dancer and there's a good chance he'd never walk again. read more

Mariah Carey Shits The Bed (VIDEO)

Human disaster Mariah Carey gave a really shitty performance on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, because when you think of rock 'n' roll you picture Mariah Carey and her twink friendly schlock. In many ways, Dick Clark is more alive than Carey. read more

Mariah Carey Shows Off Her Famous Body And Shit Around The Web

Mariah Carey and her massive yabbos bikini and lingerie their way into our hearts. She may not be for you, but surely you have an awkward uncle who also tugs one out regularly. read more

Mariah Carey Breaking the Law... of Physics, Get It, Fuck You, She's Enormous (VIDEO)

It could be said that everything I've written about Mariah Carey in the past several years is one cheap fat joke. You got me. read more

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Mariah Carey And Masculine Boyfriend Can't Stop Fucking Like Man and Woman

It's no business to me who another man is fucking. But if you're going to insist on having your publicity department funnel an endless series of insider stories and photos of your client's new totally heterosexual hardon Lothario, people have the right to ask some... read more

Mariah Carey Lights Up the Empire State

It's hard to explain the love affair between the New York City tourism board and Mariah Carey. She's become the unequivocal symbol of Yuletide celebration in the Big Apple. Either they're aged fanboys who giddily remember her dating Derek Jeter back in the last... read more

Mariah Carey Struggles Too With Revenge

Success is the best revenge. Some guy said that. Ex-girlfriends understand that fucking your best friend remains the unmatched vengeance play. The superior plotters will do so while wearing your shirts they refuse to return. read more