Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Whatever

The inexplicably famous purveyors of awful shit Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis finally got married even though it was widely assumed they already are and people were waiting for them to get into a plane crash. Kunis dropped a nauseating quote which solidified the grey matter sized marble of hatred in my heart for the couple of bastards: "My first real kiss ever was with him on the show.We all get movie star crushes....

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Mila Kunis Sued Over Chicken

A fledgling singerwho was apparently friends with Mila Kunis while growing up in the Ukraine is suing her for five thousand dollars because Kunis stole her pet chicken when they were kids. Kristina Karo now claims she needs to a shrink because of the emotional trauma, as do I after browsing her Instagram photos. Think Marilyn Manson if he slept on a potato sack and smoked discarded cigarette butts outside the Greyhoud...

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Mila Kunis Happy With Tits

Mila Kunis went on Conan and recanted some amusing anecdotes about how women's tits become engorged with breast milk following pregnancy. Kunis is the first to notice this unusualphenomenon and has been fielding calls from scientists ever since. Turns out they do indeed get larger: "I don't know how to deal with them because I've never had them and so I'd always dress for a flat-chested girl, and all of a sudden I'm...

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Did Lacey Chabert Un-Fuck Her Way Out of Family Guy?

Lacey Chabert voiced the role of Meg Griffin the first season of Family Guy but left under unexplained circumstances. She was replaced by Mila Kunis who has helped entertain stoned high school freshmen ever since. Chabert claims she voluntarily left after the first season: "I actually left the show of my own accord. And only because I was in school and doing Party Of Five at the time. But I think the show is...

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Mila Kunis Exercises the Temple of Lord Douche

By my reckoning Mila Kunis has about four to six weeks left to get her problem 'fixed' by one of those special doctors in Eastern Europe. She can't possibly be considering bringing Son of Asswipe into this world. You don't want that legacy on your Wiki page. Rosemary would've done the same with her baby if she had the ability to charter a luxury flight to Budapest late in her term. There are no good options left for...

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Mila Kunis Keeping the Douchebaby

The two things keeping us from being one of those countries where Hollywood women buy babies is premium cable and birth control. You can thank HBO and the earnest folks at Planned Parenthood with their low carbon footprint Hoover-9000 for helping this country to be mostly warm and fat. In Mali, they might be willing to spread the UNICEF grain around to child seventeen, but here, everybody needs a car. Can you afford...

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Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum Might've Made a Really Crappy Space Opera

Warner Bros. has decided to delay the release of Jupiter Ascending from tomorrow until the time we land a man on the real Jupiter. In the $150 million "space opera", Mila Kunis plays a house cleaner named Jupiter Jones who meets a bad ass interplanetary secret service agent played by Channing Tatum and his close-set beady eyes. Channing's sent across the galaxy to protect the Mila from the Queen of the Universe...

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Mila Kunis Won't Reveal Anything About The Douchebaby (VIDEO)

Mila Kunis knows the gender of the baby that she's currently expecting with Ashton Kutcher, and she also has a name picked out, but she won't reveal any of those details because it's none of our business or something. After all, her whole relationship with Ashton had been a secret for so long, even though everyone knew about it, so she's going to keep everything to herself because she's so brave, according to the...read more

Mila Kunis Hit Stagecoach With Her Good Old Boy

It was Ashton Kutcher's favorite time of year again, as the tech savvy terrible actor headed to Indio, California for the Stagecoach Country Music Festival, which covers up the stench left by Coachella's drug-abusing hipsters with even cheaper beer and chewing tobacco. As we've seen in previous years, there's nothing that Ashton loves more than dressing up like a TV stereotype of a Midwestern redneck and celebrating...

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Pregnant Mila Kunis Hid The Douchebaby Bump Well At The MTV Movie Awards

Mila Kunis was one of the big celebrities that agreed to show up to last night's MTV Movie Awards event in exchange for a fake gold bucket of popcorn, and of course people can't stop talking about how great she looks for being pregnant. "Wow, look at how the celebrity with the team of handlers and makeup and wardrobe people at her side throughout the entire show absolutely glows," they all say while pretending like...

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Mila Kunis Is Pregnant With A Douchebaby

If she was trying to hide the fact that she is pregnant, then Mila Kunis did a pretty terrible job. Ashton Kutcher's future wife was reportedly spotted at a pre-natal yoga workout in Hollywood, and she obviously had the right reason for being there, unlike those of us who like to sit outside and watch through the window. According to E!, a source has confirmed that she is actually pregnant, which is sure to piss...

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Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Are Engaged

Confirming what everyone has known for what feels like years, or at least since he dumped his grandmother's bridge partner, Ashton Kutcher has reportedly finally put an engagement ring on Mila Kunis' finger. The co-stars of That 70s Show have been very visibly dating for the last year or so, but they've been waiting and waiting to make it official, probably so Ashton can think of the proper way to tell every man on...

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Mila Kunis Is A Danger To Everyone

Mila Kunis went shopping in West Hollywood yesterday, but more importantly she showed what little regard she has for even the simplest laws. When she finally emerged from the store, she discovered that she had received a parking ticket, probably for parking her car on top of a handicapped child, and I'm probably over-exaggerating everything because Ashton Kutcher is a pretty big bag-o-douche. Meanwhile, I'm never the...

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Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis Might Be Engaged

Now that his divorce from Demi Moore is almost complete, and the 50-year old actress is done actually taking part of his large fortune thanks to no pre-nup, Ashton Kutcher is free to take his relationship with Mila Kunis to the next level. Despite reports that Ashton and Mila were already secretly engaged, the Daily Mail claims that Ashton is now set to propose and make an honest woman out of his former That 70s Show...

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Mila Kunis Looks Good in Canada

The Toronto International Film Festival has become pretty big over the years, despite the obvious handicap of being set in Toronto. If they held the TIFF in Aspen or Venice or Cannes, it'd be even bigger. But even given the limitations of being Canadian, it does pretty well for itself. Like hockey or pudgy girls who go all the way on first dates. Here's Mila Kunis in Toronto. I'd let her be my girlfriend if she...

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