Miranda Kerr Bikini Goodness And Shit Around The Web

Miranda Kerr angrily quit Victoria's Secret and people told her she'd never work again. Close. Don't bite the hand that feeds you when that hand runs the bulk of the sweatshops in Southeast Asia.

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Coachella Concedes

It's hard to state the exact moment at which an annual countercultural event sells out. It's usually a process. Inevitably marked by Paris Hilton showing up in expensive clothes made to look vintage. Coachella was a music thing until somebody realized it could be a monster fucking money making thing and suddenly Jay Z and Beyonce are headlining an indie music and arts festival in the desert. The entire list of...read more

Miranda Kerr Seems Like a Good Planner

Miranda Kerr has been dating the rich kid who invented Snapchat and became a shit ton richer. Evan Spiegel's twenty-five and already plowed his way through a few models and a half-dozen first dates with Taylor Swift. Billionaires are the new millionaires. All the girls want one. Miranda Kerr finally got permission from Spiegel'sbank account to publish social media pictures of the two together. She loves him because...

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Miranda Kerr Seems Flexible

Miranda Kerr has that weird face that works if you're a model because you're instantly unique among the assembly line of similar looking female perfect faces. If she worked in IT at Verizon, she'd be called duck face behind her back even though technically hotter than any of the four other girls in the department. Kerr got into a noteworthy contract dispute with Victoria's Secret two years ago and decided to hold out....

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Miranda Kerr Plunging Dress Because Why Pay Ten Grand to Cover Your Tits

Cannes is that jackass dude with tons of cash who always has a hot girlfriend. The one you originally thought you'd like to murder in his sleep, but later decided it would be more fun to wake him first and taunt him with his pending demise. The trucks and boats full of international supermodels that arrive for the film festival and related The AIDS charities events is unmatched outside of the code red called when...

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MIranda Kerr Seems To Have Tits

The best thing about these inane Parisian fashion shows is seeing tons and tons of half-naked models. That and the fresh baguettes and the discounted admission fees to the French Museum of Epic Surrenders. Also the saucy river whores will snuff out their cigarettes before rim jobs if you speak just enough French to say tar irritates my rectum. But mostly it's the tits. Miranda Kerr was under the press gun in Paris...

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Miranda Kerr Poses Topless And Covered For A Photo Shoot By Sebastian Faena

Photo Credit: Sebastian Faena [gallery id="3265"]

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Two Millionaires Got Into A Fist Fight Over Miranda Kerr (VIDEO)

Australian media moguls David Gyngell and James Packer have been friends for most of their lives, and David was the best man at James' wedding to Erica Baxter in 2007. But things got a little tense between the two friends last week, when they tried to beat the living shit out of each other over an angry text that James sent David, who reportedly showed up at his friend's home to pick a fight. The source of their anger...

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Miranda Kerr Looks Tanned and Rested

I think somebody once called divorce a little death. But everybody seems to be pretty damn happy after divorce, as opposed to a funeral, where there are tears and suffering and loss. Though, in both cases, there is usually some opportunity for reckless sexual intercourse. I just read a story about how Miranda Kerr's ex-husband has never looked better or felt better or something People magazine likes to say about...

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Miranda Kerr Seems Happy

I know many young women dream of marrying a devilishly handsome gay dude who rides a scooter. I've never been a woman, but I can only imagine the allure of a man with whom you can spend hours scarf shopping and talking about the Namibian bitches at work. Still, the half-life of any celebrity marriage even with people naturally inclined to boink each other is only but a few years, so the demise of Orlando Bloom and...

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Miranda Kerr In Lingerie For Wonderbra's 2014 Campaign

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Miranda Kerr Owns Nice Bras

You can take away a woman's husband, take away her employer, but you can never take away her nipples. I think Obama said something like that in one his original Hope and Change speeches. He's right too. Because no matter what Miranda Kerr loses, or, you know, spits away because she can do better, she'll still have those damn nipples. They're like that new Coin card that unifies all your credit cards into one. The...

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Miranda Kerr is Rebounding Nicely

Newly-single 30-year old Miranda Kerr attended the opening of 73-year old Roberto Cavalli's new store in New York City last night, and it seems that the old man still has some moves left in his creep tank. Roberto took every chance he could get to pose for pictures with Miranda while groping and kissing her throughout the evening, and can you blame him? Hell, I'd be disappointed in the old bastard if he didn't at...

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Miranda Kerr Shows Off Her Tits to Announce She's Single

It's always awkward to try and figure out who is and is not available, between divorces, broken relationships, on-again off-again shit. Men are always available, but for women it can be quite confusing. I'd recommend topless pictures. Nothing says I'm looking to date again like a sending out a holiday card with your tits on it. Hey, look, Ashley got her nipples pierced. I wonder if she's available for a cup of coffee....

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Miranda Kerr Wears A Tiny Bikini

I predict that Miranda Kerr comes up aces with the next stage of her life. Some girls lose their husband and their job in the same year and they fall to piece. Those girls don't look Miranda Kerr. They probably wear normal size bikinis too. Photo Credit: I-D Magazine [gallery id="4726"]

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