Padma Lakshmi Double Dipped

Viewers of Bravo's Top Chef know that tall drink of Indian Yoo-hoo, Padma Lakshmi, carries herself with elegance, grace, and an unmistakable air of smug superiority. Look at my scar, bitches. You know you still want to fuck me. Damn, that's so true. In her new memoir, Lakshmi admits to not knowing who the father of her child was when she was pregnant. Because she's classier and more refinedthan you. She was dating two...

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Padma Lakshmi in A Red Thong Bikini

I was thrown off last week by what appeared to be the tracings of a cock in Padma Lakshmi's bikini bottom. I still think it's there, I've just gotten a week older and realize I can't be as particular as I was last Tuesday. That's how time works. It grinds you down. You can't stop it, you can only bend to accommodate. So your lady has a cock. She looks great in a bikini and she can cook. You can't have everything. Just...

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Padma Lakshmi Bikini Dick

The Top Chef hostess posted a bikini picture of herself on Instagram announcing that her friend says it looks like she has a cock in her bikini bottoms. She added the caveat that her friend is gay so he sees cock everywhere. That's a lot of information for one bikini picture. Also, I see the cock too. Maybe she shouldn't have posted this one. There has to be a reason why billionaires keep banging her. Millionaires...

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Padma Lakshmi and Her Sports Bra Are Heroes

Ever since Alec Baldwin stopped gay hazing paparazzi and became super fucking boring, the horde of unwashed camera masses been swarming other lesser celebrities in New York. Padma Laskshmi could barely get to the car that takes her to the gym without running a gauntlet of photographers snapping photos of her well conditioned 40-something mom body. A zombie attack is a horrible time to realize you accidentally forgot...

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Padma Lakshmi Braless for The AIDS

Damn if The AIDS charity events aren't just bringing out the best in all of us. The Keep a Child Alive ball was the sight of so much celebrity tits last night, four gay men who would otherwise have had unprotected sex in the coat room got confused and perhaps saved a life. I don't need to repeat myself on how effective boobs are in raising money. That goes for charities, doctor's offices pharmaceutical sales, and...

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Padma Tits Are What's For Dinner

There's no one recipe for celebrity success. But if I were concocting a formula, I might go for a heap of good looks and a teaspoon or sperm from a billionaire's brother. Something like that worked for Padma Lakshmi who turned herself into a wealthy New York socialite and host of a cooking show simply by doing what needed to get done. Modern feminists measure victory by defeating men at their own sport. Women who get...

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Richard Gere Is Tantric-ing Padma Lakshmi

Pretty Woman Richard Gere has apparently been giving it to Top Chef hottie Padma Lakshmi. This in spite of the fact that he is currently in the middle of messily divorcing his wife Carey Lowell, a.k.a. that short haired model chick from Law & Order a decade ago. He was previously married to Cindy Crawford when he was younger and still shoving small woodland mammals up his rectum. Oh, fuck you, Snopes. Through the...

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Padma Lakshmi In A Bikini

Padma Lakshmi is down in Miami looking for another billionaire to give her a baby. It probably won't take very long. While Zuckerberg likes his girls a little more aspy, I can see one of the Walton kids or maybe Jeff Bezos on a bender dipping his wick into this hot chef. Billionaires don't draw nearly as much hot tail as millionaires. One of life's little ironies I'm expecting never to encounter. Photo Credit:...

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Padma Lakshmi In A Bikini

Padma Lakshmi may be the cleverest woman on the planet. Forget all the success she's found being a good looking TV chef. She managed to get two mega rich dudes fighting over who her baby daddy is. First, she told her 70-something financing mogul 'special friend' Teddy Forstmann that he was having a little daughter. So he set up a fat trust fund for the kid on his death bed. But, it turned out, she was also nailing...

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Padma Lakshmi Has Swell Boobs

Sometimes it's easy to think of Padma Lakshmi only for her professional accomplishments. Successful TV show host, top-selling cookbook author, arranging to be knocked up by billionaire Michael Dell's brother. None of that happens by accident. It's easy to overlook the fact that underneath all the career succes, Padma has big knockers. Take a minute to stare at her chest. Make her whole again. Photo Credit: INF...

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Maxim is run by queers

I would have kept my geriatric fantasies to myself if I had them, but Maxim magazine says that fat grandma Paula Dean is the "hottest female TV chef", beating out international supermodel Padma Lakshmi (pictured). I will concede that filling out a list like this sounds difficult, but this shit was their idea, not mine, so you'd think they'd at least have a reasonable answer to their own made-up question. (source = CNN...

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i wish sandler was my friend

A few weeks ago David Spade was in Vegas, three rows back at UFC 114, Rampage vs. Evans, one of the biggest fights in a long time. Four days after that he was right behind the Lakers bench for game 2 of the NBA Finals in LA, so close in fact that Laker coach Phil Jackson yelled at him and Chris Rock for talking. And last night he went to Koi in West Hollywood with international supermodel and 'Top Chef' host Padma...

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