Pam Anderson Misses School

Pamela Anderson recently lamented the loss of the Playboy mystique. Between the magazine transitioning to PG-ratedlisticlesand the Mansion going on the market, the Playboy that she once knew has passed. Andersonreferred to her time at the Playboy Mansion as her education saying, "The Playboy Mansion was my university."If you defineuniversity as involvingcopious amounts of booze, young girls in pasties, projectile...

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Pamela Anderson Cruelty Free

Pamela Anderson announced herline of zero animal product footwear. Pammies.It's a stupid name but if you're pulling plastic for vegan pumpsdesigned by Pamela Anderson, you're well past caring about names. I'm not the designer. Celebrities are not designers. I don't like the word ‘celebrity,' since people can be famous for no good reason in this social media culture. Activism is fun. Not falling down drunk in the...

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Pamela Anderson Is Connected (VIDEO)

Pamela Anderson stars in a science fiction short about an aging blonde fitness instructor desperately battling mid-life with unfulfillingwellness programs. If you watch the movie waiting for the lesbian scene, you'll be disappointed. Fuck, I did that twice. It's unclear who the precise audience is for a slow moving film with Anderson looking wistful and longing for more in her life, but it's arguably better than...read more

The French Are Horrible Fucking People

Pamela Anderson is a drunk ho cake but nothing so vileas the horrible people of France. The frog like turtleneck wearing people have cruelly derided Anderson's visit to France to discuss that nation's obsession with force tube feeding fowlto achieve an expensive fatty liver spread for baguettes that tastes just like liverwurst. Anderson isn't even American, she's Canadian, but she's fucked enough of the lower...

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Pamela Anderson Picked to Ring the Playboy Death Knell

Playboy magazine announced that Pamela Anderson will be the cover girl on their final nude issue coming out this month. Starting in 2016, Playboy is committing to content far less compelling than hot naked young woman tits. The hope at Playboy is that men will discover an entirely new side to themselves. Also that Hef will die in his sleep before the place is boarded up. The rate at which the Internet is censoring...read more

Pamela Anderson No Longer Has The Liver AIDS

Pamela Anderson went on social media, Tinder, and Backpage Dubai to announce that our long national STD nightmare is over. She's cured of Hep C. There was no comment on the related ailments of alcoholism, bankruptcy, and pink eye. Anderson posted a mostly naked photo of herself on Instagram to celebrate. Like a department store grand re-opening sign. "I am CURED!!! - I just found out #nomorehepc #thankyou #blessing...

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Pamela Anderson Tits for Critters

Pamela Anderson's passion for saving animals measures equally to her desire to throw back a couple or three Stoli and tonics and show off her most recent version of tits. Anderson seamlessly combines her two driving forces in a never ending set of braless appearances where even the animals are starting to casually shuffle a distance away when pictures are taken. Being slaughtered, cooked, and consumed by another...

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Nothing Says Save the Animals Like Celebrity Tits

PETA has figured out that sex sells a message. Also that 95% of the general population loves eating animals more than making sure they have three square meals a day and subsidized cable. Consider naked ladies your last best option for changing minds. PETA used to run porn-disguised click bait on blogs for men that featured naked women and sex acts and led you to an animal rights page. They've put naked women with...read more

Pam Anderson Still Kicking

I jerked off to this chick in high school. I'm now 78 years old. Pamela Anderson is the trophy wife you wish you'd divorced. And then remarried and divorced again just to cum on her numb tits while she showed all the emotion of a car getting a wax. Anderson is a big PETA supporter. I wonder where they test hep C drugs. Probably just on the carpet. Marrying Tommy Lee and the Paris Hilton fuck tape trust fund guy was a...

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Pamela Anderson Royally Tapped

Pamela Anderson was bestowed the title of Countess of Giglio by a prince from Montenegro even though nobody is sure Montenegro is a real place and even those who do are pretty sure they have no royal family.It's possible this was an elaborate cosplay arranged for on Craigslist Former Yugoslavia. He did wear a tuxedo so it seemed pretty official. The pretense of the honor was Anderson's work saving marine life, which...

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Pamela Anderson Seems Concerned

The wide eyed animal lovers at PETA are pushing a line that cows are water hugging motherfuckers who will be the parched death of us all. I don't know if that's true. I feel confident I could take out a cow if it came down to me versus bovine for the final watering hole. During Gore's global warming stampedePETA was buying ads to remind people that cow farts were cooking the planet and asphyxiating disabled children...

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Pamela Anderson Still Trying

Four times divorced and drunk-ass broke single mom only begins to describe the highlight of Pamela Anderson's match.com profile. There's the tits. You know those are comp as part of the package. Anderson is currently flipping through her Rolodex of former older dudes she used to bang hoping they remember her in better days or maybe just don't remember much at all. You're scrolling down pretty deep when Chuck Zito's...

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Pamela Anderson's Son Serves Her Well

Pamela Anderson brought a young man out to the Gunman premiere and told everybody it was her son. It seemed relatively plausible. The kid worked the party with snippets of his mom's sex tape on his iPad and politely asked all the older rich guys if they wanted to be his new daddy. Pam mainlined so much Botox into her temple that the right hemisphere of her body collapsed ten centimeters, from her eyelid down to her...

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Pamela Anderson Going for the Gold

Seeing as how Pamela Anderson is financially triangulated somewhere between flat broke, dead broke, and, you'll really give me $50 if I tug on that moose's dick til it cums?, her soon to be ex husband is trying to get out ahead of spousal support requests. Rick Salomon hasn't really worked a day since he pushed his way out of his mother's vagina, but it turns out the man knows how to play Hold 'Em. To the tune of many...

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Sean Penn and Pamela Anderson Loaded for Haiti

Nothing says, hang in there Haiti, we've got more bucks for building grade recycled cardboard like a couple veteran Hollywood inebriatesshowing up to help those wretchedvoodoo fuckers with a fundraising gala. Without an accurate BAC, it'd be tough to say who was more sauced between Sean Penn and Pamela Anderson. You only know above .20 one will try to fuck you and the other will kick you in the head and thentry to...

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