Conrad Hilton Courtroom Crazy (VIDEO)

Imagine a steep slide with zero friction and no handrails. At the bottom is full Nick Nolte crazy. Conrad Hilton is flying down the slide halfway to Nolte.   read more

Paris Hilton Not a Feminist Per Se

To Paris Hilton's credit, she specifically avoids referring to herself as a feminist, which is the reflex of every single other famous women despite zero credentials. Hilton stops at being happy to be a generic role model for girls. read more

Paris Hilton Getting Some in Mexico

It's not altogether flattering that at thirty-five you're in the news for making out on the beach with some dude. The press is in a furor because Paris Hilton was on some Mexican shoreline rolling around with a dude in jeans and no shirt which screams of foreign escort. read more

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Paris Hilton Corrupting The Youth

Paris Hilton has been shoving herself in front of paparazzi cameras with Sofia Richie, Lionel Richie's 18 year old daughter. If you could tell Richie was a prick based on his wardrobe and music videos, the way his children have turned out should be exhibit A. Not... read more

Paris Hilton Big in Belgrade

If you want to know the world's most in demand DJ, look no further than the intellectually underrated Paris Hilton. The devil-may-care blonde heiress and her structurally impossible pushed up B-cups have been touring big deal club parties from Italian Fashion Week to... read more

Paris Hilton DJ's In Fear, Also, In Spain, We Have Her Address

Paris Hilton continues to hide from Islamic Jihadists behind the veil of a highly publicized artist in residence program at an Ibiza nightclub. If you stop pressing PLAY on that iPod, the terrorists win. read more

Paris Hilton Created Kim Kardashian And Shit Around The Web

Manhattan Project scientists were reticent about ever discussing their involvement in building a bomb that could destroy the human race. Paris Hilton less so in taking credit for creating Kim Kardashian. The horror. Sorry, I meant, the whore. read more

Paris Hilton Shits Gold

Paris Hilton wrapped up the launch of her 20th signature fragrance. All essentially identical junior chemistry kit concoctions produced in a dredged swampland outside Budapest. Packaging takes time or she'd be on fifty. Three of her signature scents are for men. The aroma... read more

Paris Hilton Whale Tail And Shit Around The Web

I appreciate when a rich girl who would never fuck me in a million years shows some whale tail. It's probably esteem related. We didn't get trophies in Cuba. read more

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Paris Hilton Rattles Cages

Paris Hilton pissed off a UN wild animal conservation group by posing with a dressed up orangutan while visiting Dubai. Rich people in the Middle East are especially fond of purchasing wild animals and turning them into cocktail party ice breakers. So exactly what The... read more

Coachella Concedes

It's hard to state the exact moment at which an annual countercultural event sells out. It's usually a process. Inevitably marked by Paris Hilton showing up in expensive clothes made to look vintage. Coachella was a music thing until somebody realized it could be a... read more

Hot Women Come Out for The AIDS

Girls go nuts for The AIDS. These amFAR events scheduled around the world in concurrence with various Fashion Weeks bring out the best looking ladies. Dress up, show off, there are men with money and not long to live here. Best party ever. Condoms are ten grand each.... read more