Paula Patton's Nipples Seem Happy To Be Single

I don't know Robin Thicke but he sure seems like a pain in the ass. The first guy to get raped in prison and the first to complain about it too. Boo fucking hoo. You were born pretty, now you're being passed around for cigarettes. The way he folded after being caught pounding Jasmine, the family female masseuse, was an emasculating blow felt across all mankind. Either fuck the staff or don't fuck the staff, just don't...

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BET Lets Robin Thicke Serenade His Black Ex-Wife (VIDEO)

Robin Thicke has spent the better part of the past four months singing love songs to Paula Patton who left him because he dry humped Miley Cyrus on camera then started sleeping with the couple's joint masseuse off camera. There were probably other issues as well, like Robin wearing vests and sunglasses for no obvious reason. Ever since the breakup Robin's been living the extended version of John Cusack in Say Anything...

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Robin Thicke Was Pathetic As Planned (VIDEO)

Ever since Paula Patton dumped his ass for cheating on her after "Blurred Lines" became a huge hit and made him think that he was a god, Robin Thicke has vowed that he'd win his wife back, no matter what it takes. That's why he used the Billboard Music Awards last night as his grand platform to apologize and grovel, as he not only singled her out when he accepted his Best R&B Song award, but he also performed his...

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Robin Thicke Has A Plan To Get Paula Patton Back

Ever since Paula Patton split from Robin Thicke in February, because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants after the success of that song he ripped off from Marvin Gaye, the singer has vowed to win her back by whining about how much he loves her every time someone points a camera at him. He did it right after the split (above), and now he's going to do it on Sunday in front of a huge audience at the Billboard Music...

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Paula Patton Handling Divorce Well

When dudes get divorced they start working out with trainers at the gym and buying expensive jeans. Women can just show off their tits. Advantage women. While Robin Thicke continues to mope at his concert stops about how much he hopes to get his baby mama back, Paula is showing off her yabbos in Vanity Fair. Robin Thicke will chalk up more lays, but he'll end up snotting into the hanky about the few big ones Paula...

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Paula Patton Didn't Like Robin Thicke Twosoming Their Threesome

The sum total of my relationship advice boils down to one simple phrase: fuck one person at a time. Most every cataclysmic death of an intimate relationship occurs because somebody had to start fucking outside the box. You can use all the modern day polyamory mumbo jumbo you want, when knocking boots starts involving more than two people, it's going to end up with somebody crying and talking to a lawyer. Star magazine...

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Robin Thicke Wants Paula Patton Back (VIDEO)

Robin Thicke is trying everything he can think of to get Paula Patton to take him back. He's apparently sending thousands of dollars worth of flowers to her house because he saw that work in a movie once. I think it was Pretty Woman and she was a whore. He's also now moping on stage during his concerts, hoping the obese suburban moms that comprise his audience will form a tubby coven and conjure his woman back to him....

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Miley's Ass Came Between the Thickes

The split between Robin Thicke and Paula Patton began with Miley Cyrus' dry humping antics. Apparently the trouble with the celebrity love birds began at the now notorious VMA performance in which Miley air humped Robin Thicke on stage. You'll recall that she stroked herself with a foam finger while rubbing her spastic twat on Robin's junk. Paula was not having any of that shit and felt humiliated and disrespected by...

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Robin Thicke and Paula Patton End Their Endless Love

Robin Thicke separated from his wife Paula Patton after 9 years of marriage and being exclusive sweethearts since sophomore year of high school. According to baseless gossip, and a few less baseless photos, Robin has had wandering gonads since hitting it big with his anthem to getting over on girls, Blurred Lines.The reports of his infidelities have been flowing in steadily from various and sundry ladies of great...

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Robin Thicke Rewrites History

Robin Thicke, he of Blurred Lines fame, is now saying that his megahit is about his wife. The song and its titty-filled video have been a source of controversy since it came out earlier this summer. The song is kind of creepy. The song tells the tale of an older lech who is trying to seduce a young lady away from her "maker", (whatever the fuck that means). Robin is now claiming that the song isn't an homage to sexual...

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