Penelope Cruz Topless For Oscar Certainty

I can tell you who's going to win the Oscars this year. Whitey white white and the Klan brothers. Next year, count on Penelope Cruz. After forty movies where she's topless and giddy, now she's topless and gets breast cancer in the film Ma Ma. People seem to be having a huge problem figuring out the recipe for success at the Oscars. Here's a hint. Breast cancer. Cut to camera two, close-on Angelina Jolie crying in the...read more

Penelope Cruz Has Nice Rebel Tits

I didn't think Penelope Cruz could get any more exciting than when she's on her Pro Palestinian rants in European journals. I know it's what George and Amal were perusing as they fucked each other silly blasting the yoke of Western capitalism on their honeymoon. But then Penelope showed off her tits for Esquire and I realized she had even more to give. She's pretty fucking hot. I'd probably blow myself up at a West...

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oh, hi there Eva Longoria. how are you.

Eva Longoria spent the 4th of July in Marbella, Spain, in a white bikini on a yacht with her boyfriend Eduardo Cruz (she's 36 and he's 25, btw). He's Penelope Cruz's little brother. He also seems a little dense. At one point Eva bent over with her legs straight and practically grabbed her ankles. And he just stood there like a jackass. Her vagina could have snapping jaws with razor sharp teeth in it and I still would...read more

Penelope Cruz just had a baby, looks better now

It was less than a month ago that Penelope Cruz gave birth to a baby boy, the first child for her and husband Javier Bardem, and she hasn't been seen much since, but yesterday she was at Jerry Bruckheimers office in Santa Monica, probably for something involving Pirates of the Caribbean 4, which he produced and she stars in. Point being she has huge tits now, which is honestly the only redeeming thing about her...

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morning headlines

SKINS - has now lost so many sponsors (Taco Bell, Wrigley, Subway, Foot Locker, L'Oreal and Shick) due to its subject matter, it's now in danger of being canceled. Can't they just get new sponsors? Sponsors who aren't so uptight? Like tequila, or the morning after pill. Or a tequila with the morning after pill in it. (fox) PENELOPE CRUZ AND JAVIER BARDEM - are now the parents of a baby boy, with Penelope giving birth...read more

wednesday headlines

RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN - might be reconciling. "It's been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She'd never seen him like that before." Well then I guess he's changed. Punching girls in the face was probably just a fad he went through, like snap bracelets or acid wash. (celebuzz) KATE...

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ohai penelope cruz

Javier Bardem took time off from starring as Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the Raul Julia Story to go to Brazil and have Penelope Cruz stick a finger up his ass. And good for him. That's what life is all about. The last thing you want is to be on your death bed wondering if Penelope Cruz would have stuck her finger up your ass. The not knowing, that's what would haunt you. (source = fame pictures) [gallery...

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Pay attention Katy Perry

These pictures of Monica Cruz (sister of Penelope Cruz) on a beach in Ibiza today looked hotter when they were thumbnails, but she still looks better than Katy Perry so there you go. Latin chicks are always tan and they have gorgeous long hair, but they're all nuts. It's a terrible combination. They're super hot, but they'll also stab you. Thankfully many of them have no tits and a big ass so even if they're hot it's...

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morning headlines

ANNA NICOLE SMITH - if the actions of Howard K. Stern directly led to her death, he could be charged with secondary murder or involuntary manslaughter, which is less serious, even though it sounds way worse. “Slaughter”. It's like he hacked her to pieces with a machete. (source = e!) NBC – averaged just 6 million prime time viewers last week, and even lost the 18-34 demo to a Spanish cable channel. Oh I know. I'm...

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JAVIER AND PENELOPE ARE IN FRANCE

Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem have dated for almost a year now, and here they are spending Easter Sunday in Nice, France. By the way, if you care about any of this, congratulations, you're a fucking weirdo.read more

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

The nominees for the 79th Academy Awards were announced this morning, and"Dreamgirls" leads the pack with 8 nominations, including Best Supporting Actor for Eddie Murphy and Best Supporting Actress for Jennifer Hudson. Surprisingly, it did not receive nods for Best Picture or Best Director. "Dreamgirls" has long been considered the front runner to win both those awards. The nominees are:BEST PICTURE: BABEL, THE...

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