Rihanna Sex in Sweden (VIDEO)

Rihanna's concert performance involves a suspended glass walkway she crawls back and forth across in ass-less chaps over the crowd. Your basic strip show main stage with higher production cost. At various ports of call, Drake shows up to simulate fucking her doggy style. You can hear the throngs of fourteen year old girls who are pretty certain their parents have no idea what the hell goes on at a Rihanna concert. Boys...read more

Rihanna Nipples Hard for Sneaker Dollars

Rihanna celebrated the release of her third round of marked up sneakers by walking around Manhattan showing off her panties and nipples. They're Pumas with thick rubber soles called "creepers" because that sounds better than "we ripped off Vans and nobody gives a shit".read more

Rihanna Pushing Boundaries That Don't Exist

In case you weren't clear about the music marketing concept of Rihanna being mostly naked in her music video, she released outtakes of herself mostly naked filming her music video. Later she'll be posting upright dildo pics to Twitter, Instagram, and the Barbados Tourism Board website. Why not pick Barbados over Cuba if you can fuck girls with a full set of teeth and finish the evening with something other than cheap...read more

Rihanna Tits Music Tits

Just to remind everybody how much better Prince was at the musical arts than anybody on the Billboard Top 100, Rihanna released a new music video where she walks around in a see-through robe showing off her nipples and cigarettes. She's rather consciously made an entire album out of ode to sex songs, or she's performed the album that was created for her about sex. She's merely the fuck vessel for the simplistic bump...read more

Rihanna's Ass Scores Album Cover

Your 20's are your golden years of pussy. If you didn't get laid as a teen, take comfort in the fact you have yet to hit your decade of peak sexual activity. By your 30's your married and your dick goes into a sad little box drawing dust in the attic next to your JV wrestling trophies. Rihanna's in her 20's and fucking the shit out of life. She jetted into Coachella and grabbed Leonard DiCaprio's dick and shoved it in...

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Rihanna Topless In 'Kiss It Better' (VIDEO)

Rihanna dropped another track about the complexities of fucking, getting fucked, and being in a constant state of needing to be fucked. This is the dick pic selfies of chick music. Dirty limericks have more complex verse. According to commenters, the song is amazing to play when with your man. Presumably, fucking. This could be why classical just never competes with house music. I can see the benefits of staring at...read more

Drake Grinds Rihanna to Make Auto-Tuned Babies

At this point in her career, Rihanna sings through vocal synthesizers almost entirely about getting fucked. Her music producers used to give her more to say but nobody was buying it. "Work" is her third song with Drake that follows the general message of, I think I love him but all he wants to do is fuck me, and that's okay too. It's not a bad message for young girls if you're a super practical parent raising kids in...read more

Rihanna Blew Up Pre-Grammys

According to a TMZ exclusive, meaning somebody got paid, Rihanna last minute canceled her Grammy performance after storming off the stage in a pre-show rehearsal. According to her reps but not the one who took the TMZ money, Rihanna was suffering from acute bronchitis. That fast kind that comes on like an unexpected thunder shower or cocaine nose bleed. The Grammys were left in the lurch as they were shooting for a...

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Rihanna Loves The Fake Black Lady And Shit Around The Web

Singer and occasional Chris Brown punching bag Rihanna came out in defense of Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP local officialwho faked being black for years. She said she was "kind of a hero" for fooling everyone. Rachel Dolezal came out in favor of Rihanna's singing for the same reason. Read more of Rihanna's love of cultural appropriation. (TMZ) Bono's daughter Eve Hewson has some big 'ol titties. (Last Men On Earth) Elisa...read more

Rihanna Nipples Not as Piercing As Her Workplace Gags

Rihanna isn't just a hot piece of pierced nipples in stupid sunglasses. She's a corporate fashion magnate in the making. Sensing the end of her music career due to her songs sounding exactly like eighty-seven other artists not too high to work, Rihanna launched the Fenty Corp fashion brand. Fenty is her real last name. I didn't know either and I had ten years to Google while staring at her tits. Some witty associate...

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Rihanna Tits Are Moving Merch

Remember when the whole world got together and asked Rihanna to stop singing and she did? That was fucking amazing. Now she's making the same cash money or more owning big pieces of fashion houses and using her Caribbean tits to sell pricy ensembles. We win, she wins, the child seamstresses of Surinam can afford the better used Band-Aids for their fingers. We need to do this more often. If only there were seventeen...read more

Matt Barnes Poked Rihanna

Serial cock fiend Rihanna and the NBA's I know that dude from high school Matt Barnes reportedly went on two dates. And he didn't pay. That means they fucked at least twice. TMZ caught up with Barnes after he smoked a burrito sized slab of hash and he kind of confirmed and denied that he couldn't comment on the eighth best night of his life. He's probably still married. Luckily when they do the vows nowdays Rihanna...read more

Rihanna Braless Inking

Rihanna circled the lower part of Manhattan through the night visiting various tattoo parlors that would each in turn provide her with little bits of permanent future regret. Body art for women was invented as a way of separating mildly unattractive women from their truly horrific looking counterparts. It's a demarcation line for inebriated men to fathom when they'd sunk just enough. That giant winged Beelzebub...read more

Rihanna Is Doing A Thing

Rihanna is solidifying her status as the hot chick you hook up with once and never call back yet stay up late on holidays masturbating to the memory with a soft focus lens. She's taken to laying down naked on Instagram and showing her luscious ass or whatever else to occupy her time besides writing music. She was "discovered" in Barbados. Doing what exactly? Hi I'm a record executive I've never seen such talent please...

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Rihanna Shakes Her Money Maker

Rihanna went to her native Barbados' annual food and AIDS festivalwhich celebratesKadooment Day, a holiday which signifiesthe end of the sugar cain harvest and coincidentally everyone is coked out of their minds. She had a float and spent a lot of time twerking while dudes creepily stared at her ass but what do you expect. Soak up the rape culture. The festival is known for its raucous atmosphere, including a greased...read more