Wicked Hot Anorexics at The British Fashion Awards

The fashion business is one massive ruse. It's the equivalent of telling Jacksonville Jaguars fans that this is the year. That dress looks suspiciously like something already in your closet. I know you're paying for it yourself, but I might note that I pay for my own clothes and our rent. The entire point of designer clothing for women is to make other women jealous for not being able to fit into that same dress. A...read more

Salma Hayek Empowering Women Through Decent Toilets

Since joining social media just this year, Salma Hayek has focused her attention on doing good for the world by way of call to action Tweets. It's not an easy job, but it's how Jesus would be attending to the needy if he didn't necessarily want to leave his yacht parked off the coast of Cannes. Hayek's latest push is for WASH, an acronym international organizations use to describe politely getting third world people...

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Salma Hayek Tits Have Had Enough of Sexism

Salma Hayek and a bunch of incredibly fortune female film industry cohorts joined forces in Cannes to speak about rampant sexism in Hollywood and the worldwide movie industry leaving no chance for a sister to make it out of the hood. According to the klatch of women in film, the movie business doesn't allow women to direct or star in movies and merely forces them to be topless horror victims and humiliate them on set...

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Salma Hayek Seems To Like Her New Gig

It's nearly impossible to sell shit to women without implying their selection will make them cum like lesbian freshmen. I don't see the same thing in razor and truck ads. Maybe a little bigger dick implications, but there's no expectation that the new contoured Schick razor will leave your vanity splashed in jizz. This Salma Hayek ad looks like it's selling fucking. Mmm, fucking, you know you want some. But it's...

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Salma Hayek in a Bikini on a Yacht

Someday, legitimate science will prove that a big rack is worth a fortune. A potential fortune. Some women reject their blessings and toss it away like the super tall kid who eschews basketball and ends up cramped in coach the rest of his life. But most turn their genetic hand-up into some level of benefit. You work in a 40-something pregnancy and you're suddenly on a yacht married to a French dude worth fifteen...read more

Salma Hayek Struggles To Control Her Tits

I can't imagine the burden of big ole titties. Outside of landing you movie roles and billionaire husbands and making bath time far more fun than rubber ducky, just think about what a pain in the ass it must be in bounce houses and during seismic events. You can't form the triangle of safety when your tits are vibrating like a course correcting gyroscope. Salma Hayek has always been considered a strong actress. If she...

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Salma Hayek Still Has a Nice Ass

I had to go look up Salma Hayek's age. She's 47. That's one impressive ass. I'm not sure I've ever cranked my neck to check out the ass on a woman over fifty, so we're close to charting new territories here. People who just want to talk about Salma Hayek's tits and not her acting talents have always sort of bothered me. It's as if they've never noticed her ass at all before. Really very shallow. Photo Credit: PCN...

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Salma Hayek Shows Cleavage On The Set Of 'How To Make Love Like An Englishman' In Marina Del Rey

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN [gallery ids="1611592,1611602,1611612,1611622,1611632,1611642,1611652,1611662,1611672,1611682"]

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Oliver Stone is smooth

Salma Hayek and Oliver Stone were in London today to promote ‘Savages', and to show me what a fool I've been all these years for trying to be discreet when staring at girls tits. Look at her, she's in heaven, it turns out they love it! (image source = getty, wenn) [gallery id="6523"]

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Salma Hayek wore this to the 'Prometheus' premiere

Salma Hayek was one of the big stars at the ‘Prometheus' world premiere in London last night, and I'm not gonna lie; there's a lot of sexual tension between me and these pictures. Especially since I've been thinking lately that I should spend more time staring at her tits, this can't be a coincidence. (image source = bauer griffin, getty, splash) [gallery id="6784"]

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Salma Hayek is getting a knighthood

Nicolas Sarkozy (the President of France) will award Salma Hayek (an actress with big boobs) the Légion d'Honneur, which is the equivalent of a French knighthood. Hayek will receive a formal induction, which involves a Presidential medal pinning. Her induction will likely occur at the Élysées Palace within the next two months, says a source. Founded by Napoleon in 1802 as a merit award, the Legion of Honor is awarded...

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Salma Hayek knows how to promote a cartoon

Salma Hayek has spent the last two days in new York promoting her new movie, the 'Shrek' spinoff 'Puss-N-Boots'. Which of course is a cartoon meant for kids. Although you'd never know that by the way I just jacked off on her pictures. That's a very adult look. (image source = inf and bauer griffin) [gallery ids="912682,912701,912711,912712,912721,912722,912731,912732,912742,912751,912752,912761,912771,912772,912781"]

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Salma Hayek is photogenic

In real life, girls generally freak out if they don't know you and you point a camera down their shirts and take pictures of their tits. In Hollywood, most of the girls are whores, and not only will they let you point a camera down their shirt, they'll wave to you while you do it and say, "hello, how are you, thank you." Advantage: Hollywood. (image source of salma hayek today at the cannes film festival for the...

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Salma Hayek is in a bikini

More than anything else, the internet has taught me that Latin girls do anal. But second more than anything else, the internet has taught me that famous Hollywood stars are rarely as attractive as they appear in the media. Case in point: Salma Hayek, seen here in St Barts with her daughter Valentina, who is alreadWHAAAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT GIRLS HEAD. Whhyy, why is it so big? Is she sick or something? Why is it that...

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Salma Hayek is disapointing

Salma Hayeks daughter Valentina had her first day of school yesterday, but we were the ones who really got an education. In this case, a jarring reminder that many sexy Hollywood stars are completely normal looking/fug in real life. One of the first 4 pictures below actually shows a woman who works on a coffee plantation taking her kid to school. They rode there on a burro. Try and spot which one. [gallery id="8470"]

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