Wicked Hot Anorexics at The British Fashion Awards

The fashion business is one massive ruse. It's the equivalent of telling Jacksonville Jaguars fans that this is the year. That dress looks suspiciously like something already in your closet. I know you're paying for it yourself, but I might note that I pay for my own... read more

Salma Hayek Empowering Women Through Decent Toilets

Since joining social media just this year, Salma Hayek has focused her attention on doing good for the world by way of call to action Tweets. It's not an easy job, but it's how Jesus would be attending to the needy if he didn't necessarily want to leave his yacht parked... read more

Salma Hayek Tits Have Had Enough of Sexism

Salma Hayek and a bunch of incredibly fortune female film industry cohorts joined forces in Cannes to speak about rampant sexism in Hollywood and the worldwide movie industry leaving no chance for a sister to make it out of the hood. According to the klatch of women in... read more

Salma Hayek Seems To Like Her New Gig

It's nearly impossible to sell shit to women without implying their selection will make them cum like lesbian freshmen. I don't see the same thing in razor and truck ads. Maybe a little bigger dick implications, but there's no expectation that the new contoured Schick... read more

Salma Hayek in a Bikini on a Yacht

Someday, legitimate science will prove that a big rack is worth a fortune. A potential fortune. Some women reject their blessings and toss it away like the super tall kid who eschews basketball and ends up cramped in coach the rest of his life. But most turn their... read more

Salma Hayek Struggles To Control Her Tits

I can't imagine the burden of big ole titties. Outside of landing you movie roles and billionaire husbands and making bath time far more fun than rubber ducky, just think about what a pain in the ass it must be in bounce houses and during seismic events. You can't form... read more

Salma Hayek Still Has a Nice Ass

I had to go look up Salma Hayek's age. She's 47. That's one impressive ass. I'm not sure I've ever cranked my neck to check out the ass on a woman over fifty, so we're close to charting new territories here. People who just want to talk about Salma Hayek's tits and not... read more

Salma Hayek Shows Cleavage On The Set Of 'How To Make Love Like An Englishman' In Marina Del Rey

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN [gallery ids="1611592,1611602,1611612,1611622,1611632,1611642,1611652,1611662,1611672,1611682"] read more

Oliver Stone is smooth

Salma Hayek and Oliver Stone were in London today to promote ‘Savages', and to show me what a fool I've been all these years for trying to be discreet when staring at girls tits. Look at her, she's in heaven, it turns out they love it! (image source = getty, wenn)... read more

Salma Hayek wore this to the 'Prometheus' premiere

Salma Hayek was one of the big stars at the ‘Prometheus' world premiere in London last night, and I'm not gonna lie; there's a lot of sexual tension between me and these pictures. Especially since I've been thinking lately that I should spend more time staring at her... read more

Salma Hayek is getting a knighthood

Nicolas Sarkozy (the President of France) will award Salma Hayek (an actress with big boobs) the Légion d'Honneur, which is the equivalent of a French knighthood. Hayek will receive a formal induction, which involves a Presidential medal pinning. Her induction will... read more

Salma Hayek knows how to promote a cartoon

Salma Hayek has spent the last two days in new York promoting her new movie, the 'Shrek' spinoff 'Puss-N-Boots'. Which of course is a cartoon meant for kids. Although you'd never know that by the way I just jacked off on her pictures. That's a very adult look. (image... read more