Remember Mrs. Claus? Try Not To Gasp When You See What She Looks Like Now

Earlier this week the homemaker of the North Pole herself, Mrs. Claus, showed up to a tragic D-list event looking a mummified off-brand Barbie with body parts so wildly misplaced that Picasso couldn't decipher what's going on. That sentence was to keep the magic alive for... read more

Tara Reid Spooky Surprise

Those of you having trouble getting into the Halloween spirit are in luck, because Tara Reid is here to scare the holy hell out of you with these new pap pics. Last night the former actress showed up to Catch restaurant in Los Angeles looking like a motion sensor skeleton... read more

Tara Reid Talks To Hedgehogs For Money

There's a reason why American cinema is amazing. Imagine making millions off movies that are the quality of what the best film a third world country budget could offer on purpose and as a parody. read more

Tara Reid Goddess In Gold

This Thursday Tara Reid took to the red carpet to slam last week's h8ers (re: me) in a revealing see-through gold dress complete with bologna pasties and a thong. What exactly is revealed? Boobs that are breathtakingly asymmetrical by about four inches. read more

Tara Reid Dazzles At Valerian Premiere

The brutal frat house hazing ritual that is Hollywood stardom left Tara Reid a crumpled Skeletor searching wildly for approval. How many dicks until I matter? Botches surgeries, malnourishment, and ample sunshine have reduced the former fuckable actress to a sacrificial... read more

Tara Reid Proudly Fading Away

Tara Reid had her shot at burning out. She's defaulted into fade away. About a pound a week. The woman locked up on a leash in a cargo container in Carolina came out looking ruddier after two months in storage. read more

Tara Reid Anorexic Santa's Helper

That not eating thing will sneak up on you eventually. Right about the time you're 5'5" and descend to your first grade body weight. Anbody's who ever watched a Lifetime movie knows you need baggy clothing to cover that shit up. Santa Claus works. Not so much Santa's sexy... read more

Tara Reid Key Get for Maxim

The second best looking woman at Maxim's Halloween party was Magic Johnson's son. In the right light, or absence thereof, Tara Reid was the best. Mark down the year in which your mediocre Halloween party list surpassed Maxim magazine's. read more

Tara Reid Heads Into A Restaurant, You Won't Believe the 7th Thing She Didn't Order on the Menu

Tara Reid has that pre-seizure silhouette where you need to set aside your body shaming pledge and sign the papers for a routine of Guantanamo forced hummus enemas. read more

Sharknado Not Quite Finished

Tara Reid dazzled on the red carpet for the premiere event for Sharknado 4, showing everybody what the biology class skeleton might look like draped in five pounds of near human skin. A couple or three drinks in you'd still fuck the skeleton. Everything turns you on at... read more

Tara Reid and Jenny McCarthy Trade Cunty Insults On-Air (VIDEO)

It's unclear who suggested that a woman you want to see but never hear should move into radio. Jenny McCarthy hosts a show on SiriusXM because they have a ton of channels and she's well known for encouraging children to contract polio. Intentionally listening to women... read more

Tara Reid Still Working

Blond women with big racks are like lefty relievers in baseball. Even the older mediocre ones seem to keep landing gigs. Tara Reid made it nearly on time to the premiere of an Indian movie nobody seems to have heard of where she's the only non-Indian cast member. read more