David Beckham Can't Stop Being Endearing

Since numerous emails leaked revealing his cynical public image manipulation, David Beckham has made every effort to show people he is the very same happy lovable family man he coincidentally plotted to be with his publicity reps. read more

Victoria Beckham Brands Daughter

Victoria Beckham trademarked her five year old daughter's name, meaning nobody else can use the name Harper Beckham when selling products, a moot point unless she's kidnapped and sold in the child sex slave rings Nancy Grace has us convinced are proliferating in the white... read more

Jamie King and Victoria Beckham Featuring Gaunt Look This Spring

It's possible we spend too much time focusing on the plus sized models being media restructured as body positive and not enough time on those likely to be buried even sooner. Our malnourished class of street urchins and deeply bitter Brentwood celebrity models. read more

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David Beckham Really Wants to Be a Knight

Occasionally clever British tabloid reporters came up with the name 'Beckileaks' to describe the release of emails hacked from the server of a global sports management company closely tied to David Beckham. The hackers released correspondences between Beckham and his... read more

Victoria Beckham Pens a Letter to Her 18-Year Old Self

Women's magazines are fond of the literary conceit where vapid older celebrities write advice letters to their younger celebrity self. It's a conspicuously inane exercise for women who spend hours a day discussing shoes. Also, Kobe Bryant. read more

Victoria Beckham Lonelier Than Usual

Victoria Beckham shared a photo of herself kissing her daughter on the lips because she understands news media cycles even better than Trump. Models who don't show off their bodies on social media quickly run out of ideas. read more

Everything You Never Gave A Shit About Victoria Beckham (VIDEO)

I want to punch the guy who created Vogue's 73 Questions series. It features female celebrities wearing a lot of makeup, trying to act casual, and answering a series of pre-screened questions with responses that are never even accidentally interesting. It's a near... read more

Victoria Beckham's Life Is Much Better Than Yours

Victoria Beckham turned 40 years old yesterday, which is truly remarkable if you consider the fact that none of the Spice Girls ever looked that young when they were popular. If you'd have asked me how old I thought she or the other women who didn't marry one of the most... read more

Victoria Beckham Used to Be More Interesting

After Victoria Beckham got done with her first few canned responses to insanely trite questions in Allure magazine, the former Spice Girl shifted the conversation to her titties because she understands pacing. Victoria begrudgingly copped to having implants earlier in... read more

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Victoria Beckham Fakes an Orgasm

Often men will label charmless, sour faced, high maintenance women as frigid. That's your basic rush to judgement. There's no reason a charmless, sour faced, high maintenance woman like Victoria Beckham couldn't be some kind of insane nymphomaniac whose unquenchable... read more

Victoria Beckham Finally Happy... To Be in China

Catching sour putty faced Victoria Beckham smiling even for a single shutter frame is worth a small fortune to collectors of the weird and unique. But here's something that seems to make the rich girl smile. Take her to China. She's been there with her husband this week... read more

Victoria Beckham Always Looks Like A Released Hostage

Maybe Victoria Beckham is in a prison. A prison in her mind. Behind the bars of her own fears and anxieties. Forcibly finger banged in the shower of her insecurities and shame. Or she might just be a rich model who hasn't had a meal consisting of of more than 100... read more