Joan Rivers Compared Heidi Klum To The Holocaust

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Nobody gave a crap that supermodel Heidi Klum had allegedly been cheating on Seal, her husband of seven years, with her bodyguard and current boyfriend, because she’s 39-years old and still looks better than 99% of the women on... READ MORE

Your Emails Are Being Read!

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I bet you think they go into a black hole. But, no. Like that priest in The DaVinci Code flagellating himself to get closer to his higher power, I am reading every single one. The majority of the letters are from... READ MORE

Morrissey Still An Obnoxious Pussy

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Wussy singer Morrissey cancelled his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Why? Because he was going to have to share the stage with the yokel superstars from Duck Dynasty. Morrissey is one of those radical vegetarian animal rights guys. The... READ MORE

Erin Heatherton Doesn’t Belong In Mexico City

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Erin Heatherton is a gorgeous, blonde, wealthy 23-year old American supermodel and Victoria’s Secret Angel. Mexico is one of the most dangerous countries in the world and the home of an ongoing drug war that has cartel soldiers leaving... READ MORE

Ke$ha Is Still Disgusting

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Despite the fact that she looks like a wet fart wrapped in a gym sock, Ke$ha is still inexplicably popular as a pop singer. Maybe it’s just that there’s a huge piss-drinking community that we’re all unaware of and... READ MORE

Kelly Brook Wears a Short Dress So You Can See Her Crotch

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Girls who wear short dresses simply get more attention from guys than girls who do not. If fashion designers weren’t almost entirely chicks and gay dudes, there’d be no need to discuss what hem line length was in from... READ MORE

Maria Menounos Is Good Looking, Does Yoga

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Women who try to talk sports and act like they’re “just one of the guys” are possibly the most miserable kind of people on earth to be around. I’d rather drag my tongue across Bruce Vilanch’s taint for an... READ MORE

Goodbye, Pope Benedict, We Hardly Knew Ya’

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Today is not the day to be bitching about how Pope Benedict oversaw the largest child buggery conspiracy in the history of the world. How he spent his time in the clergy ordering the cover-ups of an endless line... READ MORE

Brandi Glanville Has A Book? It Will Be A Movie?

March 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

“Omg just had a talk about turning my book in2 a movie! Maybe we should pitch it to Lifetime 😉 An unromantic comedy! #pinchme,” I have no clue who Brandi Glanville is. I guess her claim to fame was... READ MORE

Sex Dolls Won’t Really Catch On Til They Look Like This

February 28, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I’ve never understood the draw of those faceless sex toys they sell for men to experience the joy of pussy without having to work or pay or beg for it. I understand the appeal of the ease of access,... READ MORE