Donald Trump Has an Undead Hooker Problem

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The cliche line reads that the only thing that’ll cost you your job in Washington D.C. is a dead hooker in your bed, or a live boy. The former probably holds true. The latter may now launch you into higher office. President Trump has a live hooker problem. No, not Melania. She’s cool. Porn star, […]

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Samantha Bee Reminds Us That Men Are Basically Rapists in Poor Disguise

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Samantha Bee took a strong stand among her one-hundred percent lock-step audience by denouncing the people denouncing the chick who wrote an op-ed piece calling Aziz Ansari a sexual “misconduct” kind of guy for not reading her unspoken cues during sex after a dinner date. Some people felt that Ansari shouldn’t be smeared with the […]

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Disabled Groups Slam Casting of Joaquin Phoenix as Paraplegic

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There are a thousand things wrong with this world, and a thousand fixes, half of them maybe make sense. The other half are ludicrous. Befriend people who can discern the difference between smart and dumb solutions and you won’t find yourself on the embarrassing end of a protest march or sit-in. Gus Van Sant has […]

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The Jig Is Finally Up With Prince William’s Dome

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

It’s been thirty-five-years in the making, but Prince William has now, for the first time, officially buzzed his head, and the Internet is eating up every failed follicle on his bald dome. If The Crown has taught me anything it’s that the Royal Family doesn’t have a hell of a lot going on, and randomly that Matt […]

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Star Wars Star Shamed For Being Vertically Challenged

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Short shaming is now being nationally recognized. The trend is being ushered in by Star Wars’ very own Warwick Davis. Never mind that midgets have forged entire gimmicky careers doing everything from stripping to being orange hued avocado hair chocolate slave sell outs, Davis wants you to know the word “midget” is offensive. He has […]

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Leah Remini Rescues Paul Haggis From Rape Blame

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Every once in a while Xenu inspires someone to do something good for someone else. Even if they’re the naysayers on the other side of the psychiatric ward fence disguised as a church. Leah Remini came to rescue Paul Haggis from rape accusations by writing an open letter. She calls out the accusers for not […]

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#MeToo Trademarked Makeup Could Be On The Way

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The #MeThree! movement was officially laid to rest when Aziz Ansari’s anonymous sexual assault accuser detailed events in her EXPOSÉ that occur in about nine out of ten dates nationwide. Bari Weiss even wrote in The New York Times that the encounter reads as nothing more than  “bad sex.” Just look at Ansari. It was going to […]

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James Gunn Fat Shames Donald Trump

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a move that proves fat shaming is an entirely invented offense for the sake of women feeling offended on an as-needed basis, politically progressive Hollywood director James Gunn came out and called Donald Trump a big fat liar. Emphasis on the fat. A long time Trump Administration anger-management, Gunn proposed on social media that […]

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Taylor Swift Continues Trademark Takeover of the World

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Taylor Swift continues to trademark inane child-like lyrics from her hit songs to the benefit of moving licensed merchandise with the phrases. It makes no sense unless your fifteen and your parents think buying you useless crap will make you hate them less. So, half of American girls, and about a quarter of the rest […]

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Taylor Swift Stalked By Guy With Gun

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Times were much simpler when all of the men in Taylor Swift’s life only wanted to grab her bare ass. Inconvenient yes, but not potentially life threatening. Now Taylor has an unofficial 58-year-old boyfriend bodyguard combo carrying a concealed weapon and heading her way. He’s stated to the police that his primary objective is protecting […]

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