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Amy Schumer’s Memoir Finally Drops

August 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Unlike autobiographies which are super fucking boring, memoirs promise to pack the punch of lots of nasty sex and drug shit from early in your life. Or, a few years ago for Amy Schumer producing her life's recount at... READ MORE

Amy Schumer’s Autobiography Sounds Awesome

August 8, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Someone wrote a series of anecdotes best described as porn for fat chicks and slapped Amy Schumer's name on it. READ MORE

Amy Schumer Had a Bad First Go

July 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In preparing for her memoirs as most thirty-four year olds with guaranteed dollar book deals do, Amy Schumer realized that her first sexual experience was non-consensual. Schumer had to consult her diary from her teen years before she understood... READ MORE

Amy Schumer And Seth Rogen Gay Beer

June 6, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Seth Rogen and Amy Schumer are the same person just one has a dick and the other a highly glorified vagina. It's like how Elon Musk says we may all be living in a simulation. This is exhibit A.... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Tramp Stamp For Gun Control

June 3, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amy Schumer's lower back henna tattoo appears to prove that she's a hot sorority chick stuck in a chubby woman's body. In her younger years she probably gallivanted with the captain of the football team. Then she gained weight.... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Strikes Back

May 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amy Schumer spends an inordinate amount of time engaging with trolls. If she's in fact supremely secure they seem to effect her more than your average suicidal goth teen. What's lost in the whole shuffle is the fact that... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Cam Raped

May 3, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Amy Schumer missed the first day of I'm suddenly super fucking rich and famous orientation. The late bloomers never catch up. Watch the fat kids in ski school. Born attractive chicks embrace their bogus public persona from the time... READ MORE

Lena Dunham Fat Girl Gatekeeper

April 8, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Lena Dunham is obsessed with her own every bowel movement. Filled with corn niblets and license plates as it is. You can’t pretend her narcissism is method acting anymore. Even Daniel Day Lewis doesn’t stay in character for five years. Dunham injected... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Labeled Plus Sized By Glamour

April 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Glamour Magazine lumped Amy Schumer in with Melissa McCarthy, Adele, and Ashley Graham in a cloying attempt to pretend their high fashion magazine loves fat women. Schumer made the list of ‘inspiring plus-sized model’ sponsored by Lane Bryant big... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Plus Size Guffaws

February 17, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Amy Schumer posted a picture of herself to Instagram in a bikini with the caption, “Taylor that’s not a thigh gap, this is a thigh gap.” The comment in reference to Taylor Swift who paraded about the Grammy’s like... READ MORE

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