Candice Swanepoel Nursing Shaming A Real Blight

December 20, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a new interview where Candice Swanepoel had to make up something imperfect in her life, she decried the slings and arrows of breast feeding shaming. When you're twenty-eight and rich and blond and hot, you've got to reach... READ MORE

Baby Announcements Getting More Interesting

May 19, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Candice Swanepoel is having a baby by some dude she met in Paris when underaged. Or overaged for modeling. You wouldn't know except for her posting pictures of her distended belly in topless photos on Instagram. She'll likely be... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel Is With Child

March 25, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Candice Swanepoel is pregnant. Just look at that fat ass. She got knocked up by the Brazilian model dude who started banging her when she got to Paris to start modeling at seventeen. Swanepoel was smart enough to earn... READ MORE

Stella Maxwell Thong Cheeks

March 11, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

CBS ran a Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Special for their audience demo that hasn’t purchased a bikini since they tried to get the one just like Ursula Andress wore in Dr. No. The Swimsuit Special is a companion piece to... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel And Behati Prinsloo Bikini On The Beach And Shit Around The Web

March 4, 2016 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Some might say that wearing lingerie at the beach doesn’t make any sense. Those people can bite me. If Candice Swanepoel and Behati Prinsloo want to frolic in the panties at the beach that’s their right as Americans…or wherever... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel Ass Smells Like Money

February 4, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When celebrity models get down to the business of explaining their signature perfume lines, it’s like witnessing a third grader in the 1950’s Soviet Union blankly reciting the glory of the State. Candice Swanepoel’s new fragrance for Juicy Couture is... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel in A Bikini

December 15, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There remains one untouchable group of infidels. Supermodels. I don’t care how crazy you are with the jihad, you know better than to go after the world’s great looking women. You start going Allahu Akbar on the finest of... READ MORE

Lingerie Clad Angels For Victoria’s Secret 2015 Fashion Show

November 11, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s got to be that one moment of self-consciousness when standing in your underwear on national television and thinking, I could’ve been a nanny to a well off family in Paraguay or maybe an assistant media professor at Mizzou.... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel Thong Thing

September 15, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’ll watch a kid with sausage fingers dominate on some nonsensical war game app just because he’s superior to a million other future fatty livers comprising the field. There’s just something special about watching a craftsman at the top... READ MORE

Candice Swanepoel In Lingerie

June 26, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s something comforting about Victoria’s Secret models in their underwear. The world is spinning out of control. We battle over the use of words rather than the worth of ideas. That androgynous seven year old next door has more rights... READ MORE



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