Carrie Fisher Party Drug Cocktail

June 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hollywood has an obsession with recreational drugs. Also, pretending they have nothing to do with premature celebrity deaths. Mama Cass choked on a ham sandwich. The rest on their own vomit. 


Carrie Fisher Dead But Not Star Wars Gone

April 10, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Disney has received permission from Carrie Fisher’s surviving family members to use cut-up footage of her for use in Star Wars IX. Not to be confused with Star Wars XIII which had already completed principal photography prior to Fisher’s passing. 


Carrie Fisher Testimonials Run Through Feminist Screening

December 29, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When parents stop paying attention to brats, the brats will eventually battle amongst themselves for squeakiest wheel. Confused by the results of the November 8th election, New York and Los Angeles literati have begun to consume each other like spider babies after mom’s carcass no longer holds any meat.


Carrie Fisher Death Announced

December 27, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

55 million people die every year, but it’s the ten Western celebrity deaths a year that are the most poorly handled. Carrie Fisher suffered a massive coronary on a flight last Friday from London to Los Angeles.


Carrie Fisher Approaching Zen

December 30, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Carrie Fisher finds the debate over how crappy she looked in the new Star Wars pretty tiring. She admits her body hasn’t aged well since Jedi. She failed to mention of her sub-par acting, smokers voice, or lethargic tenor in her scenes. Harrison Ford looked like a spry Pan compared to her and he’s 12 years […]


Princess Leia Is Nuts And Shit Around The Web

December 16, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Small understated indie film Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered last night in Hollywood. The best part of the event was the expletive laced madness of Carrie Fisher on the red carpet. She’s delightfully insane. No, but seriously. They do electroshock on her. (TMZ) Suzy Cortez is your new Miss Bumbum Brazil. (Last Men On […]


Carrie Fisher Preferred a Zaftig Leia

December 3, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Carrie Fisher was pissed when Star Wars producers asked her to lose significant weight to reprise her role as Princess Leia in the new Star Wars film. It’s unclear whether or not they asked the same of her peers Harrison Ford or Mark Hamill because neither showed up a ton fatter than their characters from […]


Princess Leia has still got it

January 9, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Carrie Fisher was courtside for a Lakers game at Staples last night, and she might actually look ok for her age (55) if she hadn’t smeared more blue on her face than William Wallace and put her lipstick on with less care than someone writing I LOVE COCK on a drunk friends forehead. (image source […]