Lindsay Lohan’s Parents Unite Around Rich Boyfriend

April 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan may be engaged to a wealthy kid from Russia where Mean Girls is still the number one movie on Pirate Bay. Lohan’s parents canceled snorting and drinking and beating the crap out of each other for one evening of detente to express their mutual affection for 22-year old Egor Tarabasov who they’ve never met in person. That […]

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Dina Lohan Hawking Lindsay’s Shit

April 14, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan’s white trash mother Dina is selling a bunch of her daughter’s possessions online. The stuff, including furniture, clothing, and zero books, was moved into Dinah’s house for the filming of some Oprah segments which were so authentic they circled back into being fake. Dina reportedly thinks anything left at her house is legally hers, including […]

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Dina Lohan’s Guilty Plea is a Passover Miracle

April 16, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Considering Dina Lohan is what God had lined up next for the Egyptians if slaying the first born sons didn’t pan out, it seems blasphemous she and her attorney were invoking Passover to explain her miracle of no jail time in her guilty plea to driving super fucking drunk. She also was belligerent to the […]

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Lindsay Does Coke Without Her Mom

February 20, 2014 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan had her lawyers threaten Fox News after they claimed that she did cocaine with her mom Dina Lohan. It all started when Fox News twat witch Michelle Fields discussed Lohan on a show about celebrity drug abuse and famous people who had OD’d. She made the claim that Lindsay and Dina snort lines […]

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Judge Orders Dina Lohan’s Head Examined

November 23, 2013 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

How awesome must it be to attend law school, pass all your exams, get yourself some legal stature, become a judge in your community, then find Dina Lohan in front of you slurring out promises to get better. Fuck, give me the American Talbian or Zimmerman or John Gotti. I want some good shit if […]

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Dina Lohan Is Managing Ali Lohan’s Music Career

October 30, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Mostly underwhelming 19-year old model Ali Lohan has apparently decided that she wants to focus more on her music career now – “Ali wants her new sound to be Miley Cyrus meets Lana Del Rey” – and according to Radar, she’s wisely being managed by the most competent and qualified person she knows – her […]

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Dina Lohan Claims Paps Made Her Drive Drunk

October 23, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Dina Lohan is now saying that the reason she drove drunk was because of the paparazzi. We told you a while back about Dina getting arrested for driving blitzed out of her bleached skull. Now her lawyer Mark Heller says that the reason that she got loaded and drove that fateful night was because of […]

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Lindsay Lohan And Dina Lohan Switch to Bikes

October 10, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan and her mom made quite the scene pedaling around Manhattan like a regular old family. The Lohans figured out many advantages to bicycling. There’s no law against drinking and biking, when you fall asleep at the wheel, you don’t end up killing a bus full of school children, and when the narcs confiscate […]

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Dina Lohan Goes To Court For Her DUI

September 25, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a family turn of the screw nobody saw coming, Dina Lohan used her elderly mom as a sympathetic prop at her court hearing for sloppy drunk driving. During the hearing, the police reported that Dina was a ginormous asshole at the scene of her arrest, including name-dropping  ‘Oprah’. In a more enlightened society that […]

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Dina Lohan May Soon Be Homeless

September 21, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Useless sack of stage mom shit Dina Lohan may soon lose her home to foreclosure. It seems that Dina forgot to pay the mortgage on her Long Island house. She’s fallen behind on house payments before, maybe because she just sits on her ass fanning her chocha and living off her train wreck daughter. Lindsay […]

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