Doutzen Kroes Pumps Breast Milk

April 7, 2015 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to millennials, breastfeeding was invented two years ago. Popularized by a series of heroic models and actresses posting Norman Rockwell breastfeeding photos to Instagram. Previously, infants were nourished from the bark of fake trees manufactured by Monsanto while... READ MORE

Doutzen Kroes And Bethenny Frankel in A Bikini

March 31, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes met up with the Bethenny Frankel skinny Ms. Potato head attachment figure and whispered in her ear, if I look like you do in fifteen years, I’m going to kill myself. Frankel agreed, then... READ MORE

Doutzen Kroes Big on Breastfeeding

February 14, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Either you’re for breastfeeding or you’re against it. That’s how this epic battle is lining up. I’ve yet to meet anybody who is against breastfeeding, if for no other reason than that means babies die. That’s a tough position... READ MORE

Victoria’s Secret 2014 Fashion Show British Style

December 3, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Victoria’s Secret fashion show was a huge hit in London last night, aiding the country of England in their annual determination of which of their foppish male denizen are gay and which just seem super gay. It wasn’t... READ MORE

Doutzen Kroes Pregnant, Candice Swanepoel Braless

May 15, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s not easy being an international bra and panties model. First, you’ve got to be born a good looking girl. If that were so easy everybody would be doing it. Then, you can’t eat. I don’t mean ever, just... READ MORE

Doutzen Kroes Announces Her Pregnancy On Instagram

February 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Back in the day, women used to announce their pregnancy by coyly saying there was a bun in the oven, then all the ladies got together and bought her a toaster or a bottle warmer or a big black... READ MORE

Doutze Kroes Is a True Feminist

November 30, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

What happened to the days when feminists burned their bras and had sex with guys who couldn’t normally get laid just to prove how independent they were. Damn, those were good feminist times for men. Now it’s all blogging... READ MORE


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