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Emily Ratajkowski’s Panda Shit Smells Amazing

December 16, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I gained nothing but respect for this chick when I saw her whacking her mons on those hacked photos that in retrospect I’m not admitting to having seen and Camille Cosby and Jerry Sandusky’s wife both believe I didn’t... READ MORE

Bras Are Kaput

December 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

That hot chick who fingered her twat in The Fappening and Prancing Channing Tatum’s wife skipped the brassieres for the women’s power breakfast in Hollywood. It’s that annual event wheere the good looking women in Hollywood who aren’t legit... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski Wears Holiday Lingerie

December 1, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After office Christmas party drunken sex, holiday lingerie really is the best unintended consequence of Baby Jesus being born. I understand not everybody shares the same general liturgical point of view. Just the thought of my own special girl... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski in Lingerie

November 14, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’m trying to expand my personal horizons such that I can appreciate a woman in lingerie as much as seeing her diddling herself in hacked photos. It’s a matter of personal growth. The thrill of being labeled a sex... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski Is In Cosmo

September 30, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s hard to take a woman as seriously after seeing her plunder her own sweaty parts in dozens of hacked private photos. Curse you explicit candid photos of attractive women. How can I take this chick’s posing in magazines... READ MORE

Vanessa Hudgens Naked Selfies, Kim Kardashian Topless Throw Ins As Well, More Celebrity Leaked Photos

September 21, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Way to fuck up my Saturday night. But, hell, for a chance to see Hope Solo wizard sleeves that even Gandalf would find overblown, not to mention disgusting, I can put down the absinthe. Another round of celebrity photos... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski Models Lingerie

August 21, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Outside of consuming cotton for lunch and having to experience the Leonardo DiCaprio shaft, being a well-paid lingerie model seems like the dream. You have to work past that Kate Upton imagined horror of every man in the world... READ MORE

Lands End Catalog Subscribers Horrified

August 15, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lands’ End, the catalog for women going through menopause who still want to appear breezy, accidentally mailed complementary copies of GQ magazine to a bunch of their subscribers. Catalog companies often do team up with the dying magazine business... READ MORE

Emily Ratajkowski Topless Dirty in GQ

June 25, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I know the Internet has changed the definition of famous. Those guys at TMZ and CW with that inane let’s make a random family of whores famous reality show taught me so. Just a short while ago, Emily Ratajkowski... READ MORE

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