Nicola Anne Peltz Pokies On A Boat And Other Shit Around The Web

August 11, 2017 | crap around the web | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Plus Lourdes Leon braless tits, new Bella Hadid, Carly Foulkes lez pool action, and more!

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Lourdes Leon in A Bikini

April 11, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lourdes Leon attends University of Michigan where undergrads sign an honor code to tell anybody who inquires that Madonna’s daughter is like any other student. 

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Lourdes Leon Works Time Square

June 2, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s heartwarming when the whole disparate Madonna clan re-assemble for summer in New York. The various children from various father’s and forlorn biological mothers around the planet. It’s like a high school reunion where everybody there came out of, or was purchased, by the same woman.

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Lourdes Leon Smokes A Little Weed

August 14, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You know, it’s entirely possible that’s just a teeny tiny French hand-rolled cigarette. I’m only saying that so Madonna and her team of mystical Kabbalah barristers won’t lay Deuteronomy claims against me in a court of law. I’m not sure you’re allowed to smoke weed in France when you’re seventeen, though you are legally allowed […]

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Lourdes Leon in a Green Bikini

August 6, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I hope Madonna’s magic Kabbalah bracelet saves a little hocus pocus power for keeping her daughter pure at the University of Michigan this fall. That’s where Madonna herself went for three hours before she realized happiness can’t be found in any book or classroom. Just by rolling around naked with gay dancers on a bed. […]

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Lourdes Leon in A Bikini

August 5, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every vacation Lourdes Leon has to sit blankly on a yacht somewhere watching four cloistered minions hoist her mom out of a modified sun-crypt so she can fuck some new vaguely French boyfriend. I’m glad God gave Lourdes big tits for enduring that kind of family vacation hell.  It’s not a  totally fair trade, but […]

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Madonna Turns 55, Lourdes Ready to Take Over

August 17, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Madonna had a good run. She made a shit ton out of precious few natural resources. She’s like Hong Kong. But now she needs to turn the chieftain stick over to her daughter Lourdes. Lourdes has tools her mother never had. Like the innate talents to draw in a straight male audience. Time to chip […]

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Madonna’s Daughter Has Big Ambitions

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody was ever cursed more with a blessing than Shelly Kitts. Shelly started developing in grade school. By the time high school rolled around, Shelly was saddled with two Texas sized humps on her chest. She could barely move. Her name rhymed with tits. She had a rough high school. I can’t help but think […]

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