If you knew just how fucking cold it is in Malibu this week, you’d realize that this chick deserves a White Oscar for her performance. Glistening breasts and a big broad smile while your body diverts blood flow away... READ MORE

These modeling sessions could use a little music. Motley Crue, maybe Night Ranger. Far less light. A fat Congressman whispering into the ear of a damaged girl. Ten dollar beers in plastic cups. Some frat guys tossing singles. A... READ MORE

By rough count this chick is only five more bottled water shoots away from affording decent dental care. It’s not enough just to stand in front of some stranger’s fancy car and tug your unwashed hair. You’re not in... READ MORE

The more oil this chick rubs on her body, the more I’m becoming okay with her single name bit. Does she even know what she’s selling? Does she even care? She’s got the daily petroleum output of Qatar coating... READ MORE

Last week I couldn’t spell this chick’s name, this week I can expound on its language of origin like an Indian kid owning a spelling bee. That’s the power of nice tits. It’s like having nukes and being able... READ MORE

The standards by which you can go by the single moniker have changed through the years. You used to have to pay your dues before everybody just accepted you as Sting or Iman. Now you call yourself Nausicaa and... READ MORE