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Rita Ora Seasons Greetings (VIDEO)

December 18, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People who bitch about Christmas devolving into a celebration of shopping and anxious consumerism have yet to witness these series of stripper videos set to Yuletide costumery. I can’t remember how many days are in the Advent. Christ only... READ MORE

Rita Ora in A Bikini

November 18, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Kardashians still blame Rita Ora for breaking Rob Kardashian’s heart and turning him into a fat hapless fuck. This as opposed to driving his father to an early grave and making Rob watch his mom and sisters fuck... READ MORE

The Tits Of The VMAs

August 31, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nothing says pay no attention to the crappy music in the background like taped up, strung up, and largely revealed tits. Stop looking at my cold sores. Have you seen my tits? Last nights VMAs set a new record... READ MORE

Rita Ora Sheer Top With Pasties

August 28, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Pasties have become big again as bras have disappeared and pop stars don’t want to lose their consumer brand advertisers. Pasties were first invented to make you wonder why you ever agreed to spend money in a Florida strip club.... READ MORE

Rita Ora Abandons Feminism

August 11, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rita Ora is being accused of abandoning feminism because she collaborated with Chris Brown on her new single. It’s not clear that Rita Ora was a feminist in the first place, but the charge of abandoning feminism is still... READ MORE

Rita Ora Nip Slip In Paris

July 9, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Two things happen at Fashion Week. Wealthy people on SSRI’s exchange absurdist level of details concerning clothes. And the small number of straight dudes in attendance wait for famous chicks to flash their nipples because nobody who is anybody... READ MORE

Rita Ora Intimidates Men

June 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rita Ora claims her confidence and bravado are too much for the men she dates and often sends them running. Who has she dated? Calvin Harris, the wonderfully coiffed electronica DJ and Rob Kardashian. I don’t know how to describe... READ MORE

Rita Ora And Charli XCX Seem Musically Gifted

January 13, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nothing says my music is ass like just showing off your ass. Fuck, if you could sing through those things I’d download a song or too. The gross levels of sexualization of pop music is tremendous evolutionary step forward.... READ MORE

Time to Save Africa Again With a Crappy Song (VIDEO)

November 17, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every five to ten years, Bono and Gay Beethoven and Bob Geldof and whoever’s hot in the British pop music scene spend another few hours re-recording the exact same fucking song to cure the latest African hardship. It started... READ MORE

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