Is God Trying to Smite Snooki?

September 16, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

First He sent a hurricane, then a conflagration, trying to strike down the little imp. Seaside Heights had to go, like a modern day Gomorrah, for it spawned the likes of Snooki and her short and sweaty cohorts that... READ MORE

Snooki Now Weighs Less Than a Baby Dolphin

September 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ah, baby dolphins are so cute. I think. I don’t really know. I do know at some point they grow up into adult sized dolphins and try to forcibly inseminate tourists from Kansas in hotel dolphin petting pools then... READ MORE

Snooki In A Bikini

August 1, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I guess they found a place to shoot the J-Woww and Snooki show because Snooki only shows her tits off when the cameras are rolling or she wants a free drink. I got the press release for the show.... READ MORE

Snooki & J-Woww Lash Out At Jersey Shore Community On Twitter

July 25, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

The Jersey Shore community of Pelican Island doesn’t want J-Woww and Snooki shooting their reality spin-off series in their town. The residents are none too pleased with the prospect of these two greasy spoons disrupting their little burgh still... READ MORE

Snooki Has Almost Finished Imploding

July 17, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoWW” Farley were among the guests of honor at Self Magazine’s Rock the Summer party at Kiss and Fly in New York City, and it’s just remarkable how different these two look from their... READ MORE

Snooki Gives Baby Advice To Kate Middleton

July 13, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Snooki had a bunch of unsolicited baby advice for Kate Middleton because she thinks she’s a fucking expert now. Ever since Snooki shot a womb ferret out of the herp infested maw she has been spouting off parenting tips... READ MORE

Snooki Thinks Amanda Bynes Should Get A Reality Show

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Twisted dwarf Snooki thinks Amanda Bynes would make a great subject for a reality show. Snooki was recently asked her thoughts on the bat shit insane former star of all of those shitty Nickelodeon shows. Snooki then made a... READ MORE

Snooki Admits She Gave Up the Goods at 14

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I was 14. I mean, in upstate New York there’s really nothing to do up there but experiment. He was a senior, and I thought he liked me but turned out he was just a jerk. So, it was... READ MORE

Snooki’s Skeleton Hosted A Cake Eating Contest

May 31, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Something called Bridezillas began its 10th season this week, and the people at the WE network celebrated that awful fact with a wedding cake eating contest at the Plaza at Madison Square Garden yesterday. Hosted by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi,... READ MORE

The Situation Gets Reality Show Literally No One Asked For

April 25, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has started shooting the reality show absolutely no one wants to see. You’ll recall that the Sitch, (ugh), is the 47-year-old troglodyte from The Jersey Shore that was always showing people his tummy. Human herp... READ MORE


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