Remember Gollum? What He Looks Like Now Will Shock You

January 13, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Sassy and near-death starlet Tara Reid jetted off the Tulum Mexico looking more like Gollum than ever, and made sure to flaunt every part of her melting candle body in multiple hot bikinis. If you like old house cats with bellies that seem completely detached from their bodies, or if you saw E.T. and thought […]


Remember Mrs. Claus? Try Not To Gasp When You See What She Looks Like Now

November 29, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Earlier this week the homemaker of the North Pole herself, Mrs. Claus, showed up to a tragic D-list event looking a mummified off-brand Barbie with body parts so wildly misplaced that Picasso couldn’t decipher what’s going on. That sentence was to keep the magic alive for all the kids reading WWTDD. In actuality, there is no Mrs. Claus, but there is the Ghost of Prostitute Future, Tara Reid, and on Monday she was found haunting something called The Hollywood Christmas Parade. Her outfit harkens back to a time when Reid was actually famous, the 2000’s, and it was either salvaged from a shuttered Kitson dumpster or found at Ross Dress for Less in the Strung Out Flea Bag section. Where Reid bumped into Mischa Barton. And Lindsay Lohan.  


Tara Reid Spooky Surprise

October 20, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Those of you having trouble getting into the Halloween spirit are in luck, because Tara Reid is here to scare the holy hell out of you with these new pap pics. Last night the former actress showed up to Catch restaurant in Los Angeles looking like a motion sensor skeleton dangling from a string on a front porch somewhere, waiting to scare unsuspecting trick or treaters. Except today there are no treats. Just a trick. One dehydrated, bulimic, barely-alive, broken inside and out, trick.


Tara Reid Talks To Hedgehogs For Money

September 13, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

There’s a reason why American cinema is amazing. Imagine making millions off movies that are the quality of what the best film a third world country budget could offer on purpose and as a parody.


Tara Reid Goddess In Gold

July 28, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

This Thursday Tara Reid took to the red carpet to slam last week’s h8ers (re: me) in a revealing see-through gold dress complete with bologna pasties and a thong. What exactly is revealed? Boobs that are breathtakingly asymmetrical by about four inches.


Tara Reid Dazzles At Valerian Premiere

July 19, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The brutal frat house hazing ritual that is Hollywood stardom left Tara Reid a crumpled Skeletor searching wildly for approval. How many dicks until I matter? Botches surgeries, malnourishment, and ample sunshine have reduced the former fuckable actress to a sacrificial Dorian Gray painting for all youthful and successful actresses.  


Tara Reid Proudly Fading Away

November 7, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Tara Reid had her shot at burning out. She’s defaulted into fade away. About a pound a week. The woman locked up on a leash in a cargo container in Carolina came out looking ruddier after two months in storage.


Tara Reid Anorexic Santa’s Helper

November 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

That not eating thing will sneak up on you eventually. Right about the time you’re 5’5″ and descend to your first grade body weight. Anbody’s who ever watched a Lifetime movie knows you need baggy clothing to cover that shit up. Santa Claus works. Not so much Santa’s sexy little anorexic helper.


Tara Reid Key Get for Maxim

October 26, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The second best looking woman at Maxim’s Halloween party was Magic Johnson’s son. In the right light, or absence thereof, Tara Reid was the best. Mark down the year in which your mediocre Halloween party list surpassed Maxim magazine’s.


Tara Reid Heads Into A Restaurant, You Won’t Believe the 7th Thing She Didn’t Order on the Menu

August 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Tara Reid has that pre-seizure silhouette where you need to set aside your body shaming pledge and sign the papers for a routine of Guantanamo forced hummus enemas.