Tom Brady And Ivanka Trump Were A Thing According To Anthony Scaramucci

September 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When your boss lets you go what’s the best way to get back at him without enough solid evidence to form a defamation lawsuit against yourself? Spread rumors about his daughter being a slut.


Country Club Ceases Discrimination Against American Patriot

July 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Tom Brady is all about equal opportunity oppression. It isn’t just for minorities anymore. Wait. Can you culturally appropriate oppression?


Gisele Bundchen Rebuffed

May 18, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gisele Bundchen went on CBS this morning while still drunk on mimosas and claimed Tom Brady suffered a concussion which was unattended to, a sort of conspiracy theory minus the interesting part. It looks increasingly like this was a total fabrication and that Brady simply told her he had a concussion because he didn’t want to talk to her. 


Tom Brady’s Jersey Thief Identified (VIDEO)

March 20, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The FBI has an official suspect in the thievery of Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey. They’re also hot on the case of a mattress dealer in Van Nuys who has been removing the warning labels. 


Tom Brady’s Jersey A Hot Item

February 7, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The jersey Tom Brady wore in the Super Bowl was reportedly stolen from the Pats locker room, quite possibly by one of their incredibly shady equipment managers. The jersey is estimated to be worth up to half a million, or if you’re reading this a year from now, ten grand.


Tom Brady No Comment On Trump

October 13, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Tom Brady is friends with Donald Trump because he gets free golf out of the deal and Brady is nothing if not pragmatic. Over/under he spends 45 minutes on the phone per week haggling with Time Warner to knock a few bucks off his package


Tom Brady Mask Effectively Creepy

September 14, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some guy named Dan Worthington spent three months rent on an Industrial Light and Magic caliber Tom Brady mask and then went to the Pats Cardinals game in Arizona and posed for a ton of pictures.


Fuck You, I Win

September 3, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A judge threw out the Tom Brady Deflate Gate case because Tom Brady is too white and good looking to be punished. Also because the judge noted that under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, it’s unfair to punish Brady for cheating because the NFL lets guys cheat all the time so nobody expects to be busted. […]


Tom Brady Battles Hard on Facebook

July 29, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In the future, real men will claim their innocence on Facebook posts. I guess that’s now. Tom Brady went to great lengths to let somebody fashion a long rebuttal to his four game DeflateGate suspension on his social media feed, normally reserved for showing off how hot his wife is. Everything seems defensible through decent […]


Tom Brady Guilty As Charged

May 7, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The NFL finally released their report on the ubiquitous and ultimately trivial Deflate Gate and found the Patriots are shady as fuck. The report comes just in time for nobody to give a shit anymore, since the NFL Draft just happened and the NBA Playoffs are in full swing and you’re still allowed to get […]