Eva Longoria Busty at the Beach and Shit Around the Web

July 19, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments


Topless Dutch models, hottest bikini babes over 50, and more!


Toni Garrn Topless And Shit Around The Web

April 27, 2017 | crap around the web | michael-garcia| 0 Comments

Toni Garrn used that DiCaprio peen as a launching pad for greater modeling fame and fortune. In-kind payments are truly the best. Especially since Paypal won’t cover transactions in the sex worker industry.


Toni Garrn Bikinis On A Boat And Shit Around The Web

December 3, 2016 | crap around the web | michael-garcia| 0 Comments

Sexy Toni Garrn struts her stuff in a tiny bikini on a boat. If Leonardo DiCaprio could only see what he gave up now. Though he’d have to see it while fucking five other hotter women, so probably not as disappointing.


Toni Garrn in A Bikini

July 11, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every model who’s done her time on the DiCaprio line charts a different path upon release. Some get a taste of the sweet life and simply can’t go back. Toni Garnn dabbled in independence before realizing paying rent is for suckers.


Toni Garrn Covered Topless And Shit Around The Web

June 4, 2016 | crap around the web | michael-garcia| 0 Comments

Toni Garrn got all greased up with no top on in the pages of Elle Magazine. It’s important when sunbathing topless that you apply proper sunscreen. You don’t want nipple burn.


Toni Garrn Tans Topless In Mexico

January 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You could get sloppy seconds from Leonardo DiCaprio and still be the luckiest man in the world. Well, second luckiest. And already I regret the term sloppy seconds. It needs a re-branding. Like when vintage stores took used jeans and started calling them distressed or vintage. Vintage pussy seems like something I’d impulse buy on […]


Jourdan Dunn And a Bunch of Fashion Models Topless For Lui

December 3, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Finally, just the magazine covers. Like muffin tops or intercourse, it’s far and away the best part of the total consumer experience. Only a European magazine could assemble a bunch of priced fashion models to take their tops off for a series of magazine covers. We have ESPN, France has progressive magazines and roll your […]


Toni Garrn Bikini Sandwich

May 28, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Once you’ve been repeatedly penetrated by DiCaprio there’s an air of invincibility around you akin to those who’ve seen brutal combat. You’re in a special club with limited members, not super limited, but you know, in the scheme of the total female population of the world, it’s still tiny. You form instant bonds with others […]


Michelle Rodriguez And Toni Garrn Foreplay

May 19, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Each May, Michelle Rodriquez and her love boat troll the French Riviera on a hot girl pussy hunt. Rodriguez entices the women attending the Cannes film festival to come take a three hour tour in lawless international waters. You gotta see the fish. That’s Leo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriend Toni Garrn. Does she know she’s about to […]


Toni Garrn Sort of Gets Her Revenge

December 10, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Media outlets were spewing this morning how Toni Garnn got her payback on Leonardo DiCaprio by posing for these hot photos in GQ Magazine. I’m not sure people understand how revenge works. The appropriate response to your recent boyfriend banging twenty South Beach models with the help of amphetamines and divine will is to either […]